Thoughts on Grandmothering

The sun wasn't up long before I was pulling in clothes off the line. A few baby things were there, reminding me of what a good day this may be. Melanie and Casi should come home this evening with Mei-Ling. I have been working this morning getting things ready. Folding tiny undershirts, adjusting the stack of snowy white diapers. Surprised really at how the fabric of the diapers is not nearly as nice as when my girls had them. I have ordered some Indian cotton prefolds as I hear they are the softest of the cotton diapers. Diaper pins stuck in a bar of soap, makes them slide so easily through the cloth when pinning them.
Baby blankets stacked in delightful colors. I know this wee one will be living with us for only a week then the little family will be snuggled in their own home, but I will cherish this week of helping with the baby. Lots of kisses on soft fat cheeks, and hours of rocking. How well I remember saying over 2 decades ago that I would never forget the smell, the feel, the emotions connected to just holding my babies. I wanted to etch those tender moments in my mind so clearly that not one aspect of it would be lost in time. I remember. But, it feels like so long ago now and it was. Time does indeed fly by.
As a grandmother I get to experience these kinds of moments all over again. What profound joy.
I watched Oprah just before mothers day and I forget the exact quote or who said it, but something to the effect that if you botch up motherhood, there are no second chances. I heard that and thought what profound truth to it, and I feel glad that my children feel I did good. I know I could have done better, but they are good adults, they were good children. But if you did botch up mothering, you probably can have a chance at Grandmothering with more wisdom. I want to be a really good grandmother. The kind my grandchildren feel warm inside when they think about coming to visit.
The kind in story books. Always open arms, a kind heart and patience beyond imagination. I have goals to be that kind of woman.
I struggle with my definition of what makes a Christian but I do know that I want to be a grandmother that demonstrates the power of faith and prayer. I want to be an old woman that has a relationship so personal with God that it shows on my face and in my every word and deed. I have work to do for sure.
I am excited at this new phase of life and challenged too, to be a teacher, a wise woman, a woman of faith, but not hard nosed narrow minded religion.
I want to make simplicity seem so appealing that it is seen as something to strive for. I want to have small hands next to mine, learning to knit, to crochet, to spin, to hold books lovingly and to sew. I want to hold a child on my lap, in gentle silence, learning to hear the birds sing and the wind blow. To watch toddler steps being taken in soft green grass with tiny hands holding grain to feed the animals.
I am excited about the opportunities to share what I have come to cherish in life.

LATE BREAKING NEWS !!! MEI-LING IS ON HER WAY HOME WITH MOMMY AND DADDY !