Sometimes I Just Have to Laugh At Myself

They say its a woman's prerogative to change her mind, and that saying is true for me. I can change my mind. I can feel one way one day and another the next, provided its not really life changing stuff : ) Some woman change clothing style, the way they cook, the music they listen to, or even how they dot their i's.. remember when you are in high school and dot your i's with a tiny heart ? I made tiny circles too for a while over each i. Modern times seem to encourage this changability in us. Our imaginations are wide open to so many things. Technology bombards us with options and choices. Throughout my life I have learned its just important not to make big changes when in the mood to change !

There are some days I wake up just wanting to head off in a new direction, explore the modern side of life, explore new concepts or maybe just sit in my rocker for a couple hours and just think about the old ways, wishing I was living in Nova Scotia in the tiny town of Noel where my grandmother was born and imagine how my great grandmother lived, and her mother too. Seeing life through their eyes. I love that place and see naturally only envision the romantic side of life along the shore, complete with clipper ships and fishing boats. At those moments I want to go back to the old way of life and get lost in a time that no longer exists.
My dear husband just smiles when I get in these moods. He is a patient man. Knows that my core values are solid and unchangable.

There is so much of life to explore, to look into, to discover, but as usual, I find my way back to where I started from. I wonder sometimes if that isn't why so many women shop so much, feeding their changing outlook, interests and yes, our minds. We need new things to suit the mood we are in. Then because we most often find our way back to where we started from interest wise, we have fabric stashes full of fabric we wonder "what was I thinking when I bought that fabric? " or pull out something from the back of the closet wondering if we had a moment of temporary insanity when we bought that item of clothing. One thing Emery had learned through time, do not shop for furniture or other big items when the winds of change are blowing through my gray matter !

Yesterday I saw this really modern kitchen table and chairs, white table, white chairs with powder blue upholstered seats, very pretty, but nothing like what I usually like. I suggested to Emery we buy it and he just sorta smiled that smile that says, "this too shall pass". Love that man for always being the same, like my own personal ground wire.

I blame it all on hormones, all this changing of the mind thing. I am rather sure its hormones : )

Of course this morning I woke up loving my old fashioned life, and thinking to myself....yeah I am sorta stuck in the past in a lot of ways, but that's o.k. Its who I am. When I was just a kid I loved visiting historical homes from the 1600 and 1700's. Loved the way the wooden items seemed so warm and somehow full of tales to tell.

Now admittedly, I have had some stirrings of wanting to step into the modern world lately and I suspect that is where this mood of change came into being. We are after all getting DSL and its rained for a week with 4 more days of rain in the forecast, which has made me say more than once, " I want a clothes dryer " The laundry is piling up in the back hall. No weather for hanging clothes outside and I hate to have lines strung across the living room, but it may come to that. So these rumblings of change have some logic to them. We did do something very modern this past week, we finally got call waiting and caller ID for the phone. My children are thrilled about the call waiting part. I am not so sure I am. Being interrupted by this little beep so you can say to the person you are talking to..."wait, that might be an important call". Well, the person you are talking to is no doubt wondering, "I am just chicken soup and this new call is more important than me ?" Same as that cell phone thing that annoys me to no end. You see people out to a restaurant with friends, they get a cell phone call and the other person just sits there, trying to look uninterested in what their friend is talking about on the cell, and then you start to wonder as the call goes on and on, why on earth is that person there when the friend is so busy and involved on the phone. How terribly rude !

Divided attention. The mother next door to us is always on the phone when she is outside with the children. They ask mom something or ask her to play and she is talking away on the phone with little connection to her own children. Sad.

So the old stuff around the house stays put. I will savor the moments of being transported back in time when I read my old books. Perhaps yes, I have donned some rose colored glasses about the old days, but then, maybe not in some areas. We have lost something in these busy times, the value of time with loved ones, the value of simplicity, and the connection to making things from scratch and planting seeds in the ground, tending them, harvesting them and preparing the goodness from the earth into a meal. We get so caught up in the instant gratification thing that we forget to see the magnificence of creation or be silent long enough to hear that small still voice. Yup, that's the thing about living less modern, its an attitude along with a very deliberate way of taking each step.

The rain has stopped for a while now, so I am heading outside to pick some plums off the tree to eat right on the spot, and let the juice run down my chin and laugh at this child like delight. I might pick a basket or two to dry and turn into prunes.

Today I am back to thinking old fashioned is best peppered with the modern, like the computer and DSL and remain happy with where I am in life. Never making how we live some form of escapism from where we are in life.

My great grandmother Harriet Amelia Densmore Hines born 1846 died 1934 mother to 9 children, she is standing outside the family home, that is still in the family ! I had the pleasure of staying in that house and family history felt alive there for me.