Culture Differences and Keeping Secrets, I Made a Mistake
Ever make a mistake without any idea you were even making one ? Well, I did recently and its made me feel sick just thinking about it. Evidently its the custom of some plain people to keep many aspects of pregnancy secret, maybe because of some fear, maybe its superstation, to be honest I don't know what the reason is in this case. The name of an expected baby is a secret I have now learned. I feel so bad and have apologized to Steven and now ask that you just forget what you read regarding the name of the baby.I was not told that the name chosen for Stevens baby was a secret so shared it all with my blog readers and my family. If I had known it was a secret or even guessed that it COULD or SHOULD be a secret I would have never shared the information.
So, forget that you know the babies name : )
I am such an open book person, what you see is what you get and what I think can be shared. Secrets seem so archaic to me in regards to child bearing especially.
Secrets in general often just become gossip where openness gives folks the opportunity to share joy, sorrow, pain or happiness without whispers or sentences that begin with. "did you hear about".
Privacy is something I understand, if its stated and obvious. This instance just hit me blindsided. So, if you don't hear much about one of my children and what's happening in his life, don't think its because he is not equal in my eyes. Its just because he lives in a culture not like my own and I never want to tread on anyone's toes. My personality is certainly not one to be silent : ) So I will have to make a real effort here.
The "plain" world is not my world and there are so many aspects of it that I do not understand.
Rather than offend in my ignorance of understanding their culture, I will just keep silent. I often get email asking about my son and his lifestyle but since I don't know all the rules and customs (they vary greatly from community to community) its best if I just keep their life private and show respect their way of life .
Comments
It is probably a good reason for not mentioning the baby's name. I stopped telling after my first, because where there are two people, there are three opinions. It can harbor ill feelings.
He is probably the one in trouble!
Not being born into the Mennonite faith, he probably has a lot to learn, and it will take a lifetime of innocent mistakes.
He probably feels a lot worse than you.
Life is full of trials and errors. This too, shall pass.
Grancy
We attended the mennonite church for several years, so I understand their ways, but not the cultural superstitions. One family I know that was raised Amish, kills every black animal born on their farm. They killed a whole litter of puppies that were born black.
I smile every time I write out Grancy, its so cute. Anyway, Steven and Priscilla were in our living room and told us all together the name they chose. No one said it was a secret. So that is the biggest mystery to us. If they had said something I would have kept my mouth shut. Some of the church members read the blog and they commented on the name to Steven and Priscilla so thats how it has come to light that somehow I was supposed to KNOW it was a secret. Gossip in that circle travels faster than wildfire : )
I wouldn't worry about divulging a "secret" that you weren't told was "a secret". Since you were not told to keep the name confidential, you didn't do anything "wrong" by sharing your pleasure at the name that was selected.
Perhaps it is an old superstition, but if that is the case, the people who believe in the superstition should be the ones to keep the "secret".
Perhaps Steven and Priscilla are upset with themselves for telling what Priscilla's family may consider information that should not be told, until after the baby is born.
They can always change the name, and keep it a secret! A subsequent baby can be Elizabeth Ann.