For Elizabeth, There is joy in Diversity, Live and Let Live

My husband thinks this is a good idea, in an attempt to end what is someones sad and not very healthy preoccupation with my life. To write an open letter to Elizabeth over at http://www.athomewithelizabeth.blogspot.com/
I am sitting here feeling so sad after reading her blog. Sad for her. I know I should let things ride, but everyone in my family thinks enough is enough. And something deep inside me wants her to be able to move on. I want her to feel better about herself. So here I say....and willingly say, You win Elizabeth. Your life is the best for you ! I am so fine with that. You win the best life for you award. I bow out of any competition you see with me. I am unsure of why you feel the need to watchdog me, be on the look out for something to go after. Why oh why do you read my blog when you obviously don't like what you read? I like your blog Elizabeth, it has some really good stuff on there. Be content with who you are. You have the life you want, don't you ? That is everything in this world. So many people have hard miserable lives. Starvation, no work, poverty, abuse, estranged children, drugs, and more. Count your blessings and let me count mine, please.
If it would solve this resentment you feel,
I would gladly say I am a fraud and nothing I write is sincere, if it would end your bitterness, but that would be a lie. So in good conscience I can't say that. But what I wrote about our budget was not some "look at me" thing. I was simply answering the many emails I got asking me about it. If they read your blog too, I can't help that. Hopefully putting this all out in the open will stop this mess.
It feels a bit like politics. The whole "I am better than you and therefore you are not truthful" mess. Or like high school gossip junk.

When readers ask me how we do things, I answer. Its not to compare, its to share. That point is lost on someone when they are filled with insecurity. Elizabeth, I am not trying to compete with you. Your life is so different than mine. My children are close and we see them daily. We live in a small town. You live in the big city. We spent years in the Mennonite community and still have connections to it. That in itself makes us have very different experiences. My husband grew up on a wheat farm, no electricity or running water.
I never worked after I was married, I have been married only once, I have no concept of the pain of divorce and what that feels like to a person. Our lives are just simply different from the get go. Even our childhoods were dramatically different. You have shared with me some about your childhood when you used to phone me. You shouldn't try to discredit my life because its different from yours.
I have lived my entire married life staying home raising a family, homeschooling and dedicating my life to the homestead life which Emery and I both felt strongly about. We had different experiences raising a family.
We are different and that is o.k. The world is made up of so many different kinds of people. I learn from your blog. I love your recipes, you house hold hints etc. I am not ashamed to say that. I may not want to live your life and see things differently than you do but that's o.k.. I have so many friends that live all kinds of different ways.
I have a different focus than you do in life. I am not saying your life is bad because its different. You are living just the way you want to.

Somehow it got to her about what I wrote regarding our monthly budget and the use of paper products and how I use cloth napkins etc. Why ? I have no idea. None but I am tired of being dragged into this. Readers wanting me to deal with her, others writing to me saying all sorts of things. Me wanting to see some level of civility be achieved.
I smiled when I read what she wrote. My cost of laundering cloth napkins is not much, since I don't use as many "servants" as some folks. The wind dries mine, no electricity or gas. Don't use fabric softener either.
It works for us. Not to mention its much gentler on the environment to not be using paper products, even recycled stuff ends up in landfills for some period of time.
On the serious side of all this, many many of you have emailed asking about how we live on $400 a month for food. We factor carefully all that we spend. And we are thrifty.
We have just under one acre of land. So its not that we have tons of space. But we have made it a priority to live in a way that supports healthy living. On our land we have two peach trees, two plum trees, 3 apricot trees, one pecan tree, one black walnut, one pear, one apple, two grape vines, and berry bushes. We invested in trees, the little ones by the way, when the children were young. We had garage sales to raise the money to buy the trees.
Way back in 1995 ish I wrote for Countryside magazine about how we do what we do. Its nothing new to us. Every inch of land is utilized. No hired gardeners or help. We labor with our own hands. The old fashioned way. We do it all and joyfully as it keeps us in shape. No fancy equipment. Emery turns the soil each year with a shovel. We don't own a tiller. The seeds we plant and the plants we put in are a fraction of what fresh produce costs. Everything is organic.
In California where we had a tiny yard, in a community where everything had to be perfect, we had a garden. I will look for a picture this afternoon of it. You can have a garden even on a balcony of an apartment. My sister does this. Gardens in yards are not outlawed. Some folks want to live simply and back to nature. Mother Earth News has existed for decades because of those interested in that kind of life, same for Countryside Magazine. We all have interests in how we live. Some of us like to live off grid as much as possible. Its not every persons goal and I am fine with that.

We do just spend that amount for our food and have for years.
Animals, lets see, that was another thing she brought up. Oh yes, and our bragging about where we go out to eat. Cafe on the run for instance for mothers day. A whopping $15, at a Grocery store cafe. It was taken out of our gift budget since it was mothers day ! All other "out to eats" are taken from that very budget I wrote about for eating out. So you see it can be done.
Chickens pay for themselves. We sell our eggs. That covers the cost of feed and we end up getting our eggs free. It was the same with our goats and goats milk. Sold our goat milk as pet food, since we were never a grade A dairy. Sold it for $7-$8 a gallon. That paid the feed bill and vet bills and milk testing and gave us our milk free. Any cost would have been worth it anyway. Our children are hard workers. Knowing the value of going out to milk goats every 12 hours, no matter how you feel. Seeing the results of caring for animals and seeing the cycle of nature unfold before your eyes. Growing up old fashioned, not hooked on television or selfish pursuits. Our children were never bored. They learned compassion and responsibility. Its paid off big time for them as adults.
I don't expect everyone to want this kind of life, but it is what we chose and we do live it and we do make it work and it is what it is. We even had Japanese TV come to our home and do a television show on our lifestyle as its so not the norm. People ought to be able to live as they want and have that choice respected. Not torn down simply because they view it as some personal affront to how they live. We do live without much stress. Our lives are happy. My children are present in my life, and enjoy being around us. And in the end, when I am old in a rocker, that my friends will be what counts.