Monday, November 05, 2007
Missing the Past
It's not often that I feel that tinge of longing for days gone by. I am so blessed that living in the moment is just fine with me. Emery and I plan for the future but I am not one to sit around thinking about what has happened and what might happen in the future. There is a lot of living to do right in the moment. But today, I saw something that made me miss a part of my life.
When I was in Emery's office this morning, there was a young father there with 4 little boys, the oldest one was maybe 8 years old and the little one 2 or 3. They were sweet little ones, their long sleeve shirts, dark pants with suspenders, and bare feet reminded me of my own boys. These little men were so filled with enthusiasm for life. It made me have a longing for those days once again when small feet ran down the hallway, laughter always close behind.
I felt a loss for the days of baking and cooking for hungry little people. Stacks of pancakes standing tall . Little girls dresses hanging across the line...rows of small black stockings strung across the clothesline. I felt a longing to once again sit on the sofa, flanked by eager ears as we read together. The lamplight flickering merrily.
I know that my grandchildren will give me glimpses of those times. I know that Grandma and Grampa will have the joy of praying and reading to little ones once again, but it just seemed to me today that those days of our own children's growing years, passed so quickly.
I miss the row of black shoes, all lined up on Saturday night, polished and ready for church the next morning. I miss the joy that spills out of children as they discover new things, see the birth of a animal, wait for birthdays, and take steps towards adulthood.
Today reminded me of those times, those happy moments so filled with busy-ness and that wonderful peace when you looked at sleeping heads, nearly buried under mounds of quilts.
Life is still profoundly good, just different. Our children still give us such joy....just its different than those early days when there never seemed to be enough hours to get things done.
It does feel good to look at life now and see that our children have grown into such fine adults.
It is a silent sort of morning, sitting next to the wood stove in my rocker, watching the birds outside my windo...