We have long since sold this book, and of course the charts have been retired for over a decade, but this week I thought I should get the book again and read it for my own benefit. Christian Character is almost always in need of being checked and we are in need of being held accountable. See things in the true light.
It is no secret to anyone that knows me, or anyone that reads this blog, since I mention it often, that I struggle with rebellion. I was raised to be so independent, so free thinking, with a "don't tread on me" sort of mentality, of which for me the fruit is rebellion to conformity, rebellion in being told how to do things etc. The reality of a meek and quiet spirit is just about as foreign to me as anything could be. That's not how I want it to be. Confessing a sin to God is not hard for me but confessing a fault or sin to another human is beyond difficult. Its horrendously hard.
Its easier for me to find some loophole and justify my attitude with a long discourse on the semantics of whatever can be worked in my favor.
I get too outspoken, too big mouthed at times. To zealous for pointing out the injustices in the world. My goal is to work on that, be more of a meek and quiet person....no doubt family members are laughing here, wondering how in the world I think I can change, but you know, when you really want something and you seek after it in the right way, you can change with the help of God. I believe that. So here I say, humbly, I am sorry for my rebellion.