It was Cold this Morning !

When mornings light came streaming through the window by my bed, stirring me to wake just enough to realize I was COLD. What a strange feeling. My feed were cold, my face was cold. My mind slowly gained a sense of reality and reminded myself that this feeling of "cold" was something I had been looking forward to. Knowing now in my waking moment that this feeling wasn't really uncomfortable, and that I should be grateful for it, I tried ever so hard to just lay there and enjoy it. Funny though, it wasn't all that enjoyable. I pulled up another cover, still felt cold to me so with no other recourse I got up and got dressed. Ahh a touch of this fall like weather made it easy to make the choice for the mornings clothing. Way back in the corner of my closet, there is a "man" in the closet shall we say, you remember my post about getting the man out of your closet, well the winter clothes box contained a bit of a "man shirt" and I would not part with it. Nope, not for anything, well if you offered me $100 I would give it up. Wow, what a sell out I am. Its a flannel shirt, worn and soft, blue and red plaid. Oversized and comfortable, you can wrap it around like a snuggling kind of hug. It is the perfect morning for this old friend and I to get reacquainted after a very long summer. Chose jeans to go with it, and a tee shirt. O.K, you are getting the picture of nothing very feminine and you are right.
Feels a bit rebellious and that in itself feels down right good since I was put in a rather testy mood yesterday by the inflammatory emails of that dear old Elizabeth of Rose Cottage blog. Yes, I know she is at it again. Maybe she has cycles of rage or something. There I feel better, I said something ! Humanity is amazing, we just have to say when an injustice has been done to us. Feel like a 5 year old tattle taling but man it feels good. Honesty here. I am human. I am woman, and this morning there is a roar or two coming out of my mouth. Once again this poor soul Lizzy, in some sort of manifestation of instability felt the need to email me and tell me I am "very evil" . Really folks I am pretty harmless, and she is the only person in my entire 52 years that has ever called me that , but she did push some buttons. My dalai lama reading and practice of compassion kinda fell to the wayside and my compassion for this apparently wounded and angry gal, turned into disgust and a bit of childlike wonderment, as if to say, "where did that come from?" She somehow thought I was writing about her when I was writing my bit about kindness and took offense. You see posts on her blog come and go, written and then gone in response to something I have written. Amuzing at best especially since I have never even met the woman !
So you can see why I am in a bit of a mood. When I was growing up, my mother never ever allowed us to wear jeans. I got my first pair at age 16 and fenaggeled it so a friend gave me them as a birthday gift so I could say " it was a gift and I really don't want to hurt their feelings by not wearing them. " I never bought my own jeans until I was 21 or so. There were a few colored jeans but no blue jeans in the years between 16 and 21.
To this day, jeans feel a bit rebellious to me and then all the time in the Mennonite community, jeans of course were a no no even for the men. After dressing, I put on Aine Minogue music, deep earthy, brooding, moody, ancient Irish music. It was perfect that the crows all came to visit this morning, squawking and calling to one another outside my window. I picked up my crow caller and had them come to see me all at once so I could feed them some cheap dog food and a few peanuts. Neighbors probably wonder about this "crow lady". But I have raised a crow or two and love them dearly for their amazing intelligence.
At this point in the morning my feet have warmed up and I started to feel a bit cheery. The cool morning air now comfortable and enjoyable to me.
I wandered the land, a bit sad seeing Fergus house empty and missed his running to see me. Not sure what my next dog will be. Sure want another Irish wolf hound. We had one and I loved the big old beast, Killian was his name. Skinny boy was only 175 lbs and just a smidgen under 7 ft when he stood on his back legs. Lazy as can be but scared everyone by his side when we walked him. We all laughed at that, this old boy wouldn't hurt a flea.
So the morning went. One thought trailing on the tail of another. Working out the past days occurrences, trying to rationalize the actions of a not so rational person. Can't make a square peg fit in a round hole so just have to file that one under crazy things. I am done spouting off now. Now lets just pray, that she finds something more important to do than worry about what I do or say.
Enough time and energy spent on the subject, but you know, you just have to try and work things out in your mind and writing about it is cathartic in several ways for me. So indulge me this moment of moodiness.
On our hike the other day I saw this placement of sticks and little seed balls. It looked so planned, but it wasn't. So far off the trail and no foot prints to be found. It reminded me of pom poms dangling from some child's toy. It held me in fascination for several moments. The warm earth colors, the textures, the symmetry, all so simply beautiful to me for being just a T shape with some pom poms.
I love looking deeply at life, at the things of nature around us, looking up the trail, looking down on the trail, listening, hearing maybe just complete silence. Not only on a hiking trail or on a ramble around my own land, but in life. Observing, and learning.
The mood has improved dear readers. Gentle, happy sounding harp music is playing now Turlough O'Carolan I am sure. An old bard to be certain, his story this morning to me is light and airy. Fairies on a hill, Tara perhaps. Think I will go mow our own piece of hill and hum this tune while I work.