I am Breaking A Rule and Blogging this Morning

Greetings in the name of the Lord,
This morning I am going to not journal this adventure but write all as in a letter telling you about the day.
Think of this as a personal letter to each one of you, sharing with you how the day is unfolding.
Yesterday, everything seemed to well planned out, so organized for this adventure and I felt confident and full of enthusiasm. I still am to a degree but realism has set in and all the plans changed last night.
My darling Emery was not feeling well last night when I picked him up from work at 6 p.m.. In fact he asked me to drive home. He had been coughing so hard that he pulled a muscle. Even his upper arms hurt.
There was no way I could ask him to go haul wood into the house for me to use today. I had planned that he would do that each evening for me.
His night was filled with coughing spells and pain from the pulled muscle. A fever set in too. The night was long and worrisome.
Its funny, but now that he is 60, I get more fearful when he is sick. Fearful he will die. Perhaps its that as we grow older, we loose more and more people in our circle of friends and family so the smack of that type of pain is real to us. In youth, you feel exempt, bigger than life itself. As you age, your become wiser.
We were up many times. I was always on the ready for whatever he needed.
Needless to say, neither one of us got much sleep.
When 5:30 arrived, I woke and just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. Emery was resting comfortably and I didn't want to disturb him. I fell back asleep myself. At 6:30 we were both awake, but the house was still dark. My first thought was, "oh right, its the big adventure, no lights on." I went to get my boots out of the closet, a simple thing, but it was dark and I had to feel around to find them, and then stick my hand in to see if a creepy crawly had set up home in the toes. I wished I had a light. Couldn't very well stick a candle in there.
I dressed, and wondered how I was going to get wood, start the fire, have the stove hot enough in time to get Emery some breakfast. It didn't happen in time. He grabbed a bowl of cereal and headed off. It was still not as light as I would have liked when I headed off to the wood shed. We have snakes here and sometimes they climb on the beams of the barn and that makes them over your head. I am uncomfortable with that. It was hard to check for creatures with the lantern. I could hear things scurrying away as I reached into the barrel with the kindling. Probably mice or rats. I shivered to think about it. With the wheel barrow now loaded with wood I went in to start the fire.
Walking past the sink, I saw dishes from last night, groan..... wish I had gotten them done as planned. I could have just turned on the faucet and filled the sink last night, but now, buckets of water needed to be hauled in just for that.
Breakfast was going to be very late and my stomach was already growling.
I was grateful for years of experience with starting a fire in the stove. In now time flames we jumping. Already I found myself thinking, this would have been much more fun and much less work for me, if the children were still young and at home. The chores would be shared. Someone could fetch water for me.
I am struck by the reality of what life must have been life so long ago for people aging. No children at home made for a hardship.
Its now 9:22 am and finally my coffee is ready. I need the caffeine today. Plain and simple. The living room where the stove is, is now 90 degrees F. The rest of the house is probably 70. Somewhere around 8 am I realized that I never even washed my face this morning. I got up running and didn't take any time.
The hand woven cotton fabric felt strange on my skin. Not like any fluffy terrycloth we are all used to, but the cold water washed away a difficult nights sleep from my eyes.
Breakfast was good, late but good, Two eggs and some grilled whole wheat bread with molasses drizzled on it.
The coffee is strong but that's what I need. It seemed to take forever this morning to grind the coffee beans. I must remember to do that tonight, when we are sitting talking about the day.
After this coffee break, its back to work. I had so much planned but am so far behind. Its hard to know what I will actually accomplish.
Last night when I was praying for Emery, I thought about how fragile life was in the old days. I thought about the mercy of God and how with so many hardships each and every day, you would always remember where the good things in your life came from, not from your hand, but from the Mercy of God.
I comprehend that today with full clarity. Each breath we take, each time we put one foot in front of another and move, each piece of food put on our plate, is due to the Mercy of God. No wonder so many giants of faith lived so long ago, in the founding years of this country. They saw daily the workings of God in their lives. They didn't brag about what they accomplished or what they had like we all do now, they understood that what they had was a gift that God allowed them to have and what they accomplished came by the way of Gods love.
If I take nothing else away from this adventure, learning that we are not running the show, would be enough for me.
My coffee break is over, and now its time to sweep the carpet and do the morning dishes. And time to get more wood, the stove has been hungry and its really time to start some lunch. Nothing is instant.
This isn't so much fun, living this way, and I didn't expect that since for me its not peppered with children's enthusiasm, its work, hard work.

Boots on, ready to get to work
Firewood for breakfast
Breakfast cooking
Breakfast on the plate