A New Season

Today is the first day of Spring...a new season. Some of us are putting in gardens and some of are shovelling snow still. Regardless of that, the calender tells us it's a new season all the same. Isn't life a bit like that. We don't all age the same, we don't all reach life goals at the same speed . . You can really see this played out in the conversations of young mothers. "My baby crawled at 5 months" sort of thing. In the end, most babies end up crawling at some point and in the years to come, the timing of such an event is meaningless. Same for the seasons, they come in time, when they are ready !
I feel a bit scattered today, I am worried about Mei-Ling, she is loosing weight, not eating real well but then she is getting her two top teeth and you can just tell she is miserable about it. But, with her health issues, everything has an undercurrent of worry... the "what if it is more" syndrome. The worry factor that mothers know so well and it seems Grandmothers know even better. It feels a bit like how I felt after bringing Melanie home from the hospital, a wee girl of 7. We came so close to loosing her from Diabetes. After days in I.C.U. and a bit longer in the pediatric ward, we got to bring her home and we watched her every move with a keen, new understanding how fragile life is. Checking on her at night to make sure she was still breathing, our minds quietly rehearsing what to do "if" this or that took place. Mei-Lings health reminds me of that, and I know in time, you feel a bit more secure, a bit more normal, that is until they get sick, or look a little tired or loose a bit of weight. Then the fear creeps in and you fight it, knowing fear is built on "if's" and "if" is a word with no reality in it at that moment in time, it is only a maybe, a powerful uncertainty.
Well, this has turned into a rather "down" post for the first day of spring. But maybe it's about the reality of seasons in life. Life is full of season changes.
I can hear the birds singing outside my window. A mockingbird and a cardinal. In the sandy spot of soil in the neighbors land, morning doves peck at the pebbles looking for something to eat.
The morning sun has created a light and shadow masterpiece on the grass. A few white blossoms remain on the plum tree. The goats are in the pasture waiting for me to give them their grain. Just in looking out the window at the marvelous colors and the constant of natures beauty, I feel calmer, the worries lessened by seeing Gods handiwork. His gift is peace.

Nothing says spring to me like this photo of Annikes little buck kid, jumping for joy