Discovering Who We Are

I tend to think that we live our lives in search of who we are meant to be, what is our purpose. In learning what our purpose is, we have to know who we are, what we stand for and what are deepest beliefs are.
Our purpose in life changes at times. When my children were at home, my purpose was so clear, so well defined. My purpose was, along with my husband, raise children who would be a blessing and not a curse, not only to us, but to the world at large. We didn't want them to just "not get into trouble" we wanted them to be contributing citizens, people that would make a difference in the lives around them. We wanted them to be secure, kind, thoughtful, innovative, independent yet to know that life always involves interaction with others. My purpose in life was all about helping my children become adults that would not make mistakes that would hurt them for the rest of their lives. We chose to raise them in the plain world, minimizing the influence of things we wanted to shield them from. We wanted them to value the simple things in life, and not go chasing after stuff.
Now that they are all married, and my days are so much less structured, its time for me to reflect, to seek and to find my new purpose. I will always be mom and always enjoy that part of my life, but its less demanding now. Being a grandmother is a part of my purpose now, but that too, is not all that demanding. So time is mine to explore what I really believe, look at all sides of the great picture. What I have learned in this searching is that my religious beliefs have come full circle. I am not ashamed of my searching, not ashamed that I questioned God. I think that part of me wanted something just a bit more exotic than what I have believed. Maybe I was tired of wearing a uniform of sorts and when we left the Mennonite church I wanted to look and act so different from where I had been. It tied into my seeking and searching. It all became part of my looking for my purpose and place in life now.
I can see things changing in my life, as if the cogs of a giant wheel is moving and catching me up in it, taking me towards the place where I can see my purpose unfolding. I can see that some of the things I was running from, were just my rebellion or just my casting off things so that I felt free to explore. Now, I feel more clarity, more assurance in what I do believe. I still would love to have a real life, in person conversation with Jesus to find out just what things matter to Him.

Comments

Vicky said…
Miss Patty, I feel like I sometimes run or rebel against what man has made of God but not God himself. Does that make sense?
TJ said…
Vicky we should rebel against what man has made of God! And Patty I believe we are to question him. How can we have true faith, if we have never questioned our beliefs? How can we defend our beliefs when they have never been challenged. It is in the challenge that we learn to listen to God and feel the Holy Spirit moving us where we need to be.

I've enjoyed your writings and musings on God and religion. I feel that maybe in the future you should just use the trash can button for all of irene's posts. They all read as spam to me, and completely against what Jesus would have wanted.
Patty said…
tj, I had thought of deleting all of Irenes comments but you know, leaving them there, with all the wonderful replies will perhaps show someone who has been served that narrow view, that not all Christians see things that way and give them hope and encouragement.
TJ said…
Very true Patty! I just pray that there will be a change of heart for those who are so narrow-minded.

I was up most of the night thinking through all the discussions. It has definitely been good for me.
Patty said…
Makes perfect sense Vicky...I think that is why at times I just wonder why we don't pay more attention to the words of Christ and just concentrate on what he has told us about how we should live.
Cindi said…
I recently found your blog. I don't even know how I found it, I am sure it was a God thing. I laughed and cried. Oh, how much we have in common. My Momma was an old order Mennonite. She shockingly divorced her first husband and married my Daddy, a holiness Penticostal. Together they became old order Brethren. Some call them Dunkards, some German Baptist. Later in life their church changed to just a Brethren church due to Sunday School (they wanted to have it.) Our life was a confusion of ideas and they let me explore as a child. I went to church with anyone who would let me. In college I studied Tsaism. I married a man in the military, much to my parents horror. We went to a Brethren church for most of our married life until recently and now we go to a Baptist church. All this to say denominationalism is man made. We all read the same Bible, we are all saved by the same blood. I often look at other religions of the world and can see how similar their beliefs are to ours. It seems they came from the same beginning, they just got off track somewhere. If you have ever read the book Adam and His Kin, it made so much sense. Sorry I have gone on so long.
Ed Mahony said…
I loved your post. Lucky kids having a Mum like you! God bless.

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