Just an Old Flip Flop

A new picture of me, just an old Flip Flop !

I just read a blog I read often. Its a good blog, and has some wonderful recipes and its a fun chatty type blog, but tonight there is a post that hit me hard. I just felt it was for me, although I am sure it isn't. This woman has never even met me, but still it just seemed like she was talking about me : ) Ever have that happen to you ? Maybe its guilt !
No doubt I am feeling sensitive about my own struggles in trying to find my place. It just makes me wonder if I am perceived as wishy washy and flip flopping. I am flip flopping but that is because I honestly don't know where I belong. Unless you have been a part of a community like the Amish or Mennonite you cannot understand how hard it is to leave it. There is a love that is deep and strong. But at the same time, you wonder if its the only way. This is what I read and you can see how it would seem to fit me, especially after my post about going to town with a covering on and seeing everyone there. You can see how raw and sensitive I feel, you know that totally "paranoid" feeling when you are unsure of where you are heading....

"I know people who their convictions are based on whom they are going to be around that day. They will dress and behave according to the people they know they will be seeing. They are so washy washy. One day they are this faith and then next week they are another faith. Flip flopping back and forth. How sad and confusing it must be for them. Not to know who they are in Christ. I couldn't keep up with the changes. If the Bible says it wrong then it wrong. No matter what other people think. I believe it time for us as Christians to stand firm in the word. To live our convictions every day. The world is confused as it is. They don't need us to add to the confusion. We should be a lighthouse of stability for them leading to the way of the cross."

I hope I do not come across like that to all of you. It would never be my intent. Just so I feel better about this, you should all know, in case I am appearing to be what this lady wrote about. I am not confused in where I am with Christ, but I am having a struggle leaving a life we have lived for so long. I am daily reminded of my past life, I question my choice, I wonder what is right and good to be doing. Daily my husband works with people we have worshiped with. My son is a member of the same church. We miss that sense of community and fellowship. We can't seem to find a church that fits what we believe to be truth in regard to simple living, raising godly families and christian community.
Last night when I wore my covering to town, I had NO idea I would see anyone, I wore it because it felt right. Now it feels like I did something wrong. What if it seems that way to everyone and I have dragged someone into my own personal confussion ?
It makes me question if its right for me to share so openly my personal struggles. I have always been very open with my feelings. No hiding what is happening in my life or in the lives of my family.
Maybe I am setting a bad example by sharing so openly my transition, and if I have been a bad example please forgive me. Never ever do I want to cause someone to stumble.