The People in Our Lives, Our Enemies

A strange subject for the people in our lives, our enemies, but they exist, they come and go in our lives and although enemy sounds like a harsh word evoking all kinds of terrible thoughts, enemies are one of our greatest blessings.
By nature I am not a grudge holder. I get mad. I get glad, usually within a couple hours. The only thing that can make me mad really is injustice. That just is something that can get under my skin. When someone accuses you of something you didn't do. It just seems so morally wrong to me that it ticks me off. I am not talking the kind of mad where you yell etc, I am not one to raise my voice, and only one person in my life has been capable of making me to that, and that was our youngest son when he got older.
But even there, in those difficult circumstances, I have learned more than I could have ever dreamed possible about the benefits of an enemy.
It is said that a good enemy is worth much. The value of an enemy is in the way we learn from it, what we discover about ourselves through them.
I am using the word enemy here as in, anyone that "pushes all the right buttons", as they say today.
Might be a boss, an in-law, that kind of thing. Most of us don't have enemies in the purest sense of the word.
The power of an enemy over us, is all in how we allow ourselves to be consumed by their actions. I remember one time, in my early 20's when someone had made me mad, don't even remember the details now, but I remember the lesson. I thought about what had happened all day long, even to the next day. That was about all I could think about. How mean this person was and on and on. Funny thing is, this person never once gave their actions a thought. Not one time. I had given them so much power over me that they ruined my day and yet they never ever gave it a thought. I had allowed them that much power over me.
The one major blessing of having an enemy is what they can teach us. We can turn the tables and thank them for making us reach deep inside ourselves to discover how to forgive, how to let go of things, how the anger came about. Was it because we were hurt ? Made to feel vulnerable ? Enemies can make us feel lots of anger. The kind that brews and stews.
Enemies can make us hate. Again another strong word. Hatred and anger can destroy all our inner peace and again, the enemy has gained all the ground by having us loose our peace of mind.
If you are a Christian, being full of hatred is simply wrong. Hatred lacks compassion and love.
So here in lies the lesson....if you have someone who causes you to be angry, full of venom, holding your mind captive with going over and over the details of the misdeed against you, then let it go. Look at this person with sympathy. Imagine yourself in their circumstances. Sit down quietly and think about their life, what was their childhood like ? Are they happy now ? Are they suffering emotional problems ?
Ask yourself a simple question. If you were in their shoes with all the distress they have or have had, would you be any different ? If you extend yourself to them in that kind of thinking, they loose their grip on your emotions. You are "turning the other cheek". You can learn to be patient by their antics, their actions that continue to vex you perhaps can be seen as lessons on patience and love. You don't even have to be near them, just in your heart hold them in peace.
Patience comes from our ability to not be overwhelmed by the difficult circumstances and seen as a great strength. It became unsafe for us to have our son Scott in our home. We did not have to kick him out, our lifestyle made him uncomfortable and he ran away, back to his biological parents. I could sit here and stew about all he has done to us and believe me the list is long ! But instead, I pray for him. I know in my heart that if I was raised as he was, I may not make any different choices and I may have wanted to strike out just like he did. I am not angry that he tried to kill us, but full of compassion for him. That doesn't mean I have him in my life however. There are safety issues here.
When angry feeling arise within you about a person, and again we will call him/her your enemy. Then reach deep inside, look at why you are angry, most often it is hurt, and anger protects us from hurting. It is a wall of defense from feeling pain, think about feeling compassion and patience towards this person. Your anger will melt, it will not consume your every thought and you will have the victory. Let them be the ones wasting time thinking about the ordeal, and you can move on and be happy. Replace your anger for your enemy with compassion for them.
Hollow steel, motionless and in black and white seems cold and not very attractive. Add gentle movement, some color and you can have something peaceful and beautiful like wind chimes. So too can anger and thoughts against a person (an enemy) be transformed. You may not want to ever have them for tea, but in your heart, where it all matters, there is a change.

One final note, I never like having people angry at me, even more so when its for no real reason. Makes me feel so uncomfortable. I can control how my heart feels towards them, but I have no control over how they feel about me, but from that, I do know one thing, it does no good worrying about things that cannot be remedied. Let things go, imagine your hurt, your anger as if it was a fine delicate piece of cloth, held up in the wind and let it go.