The Good Old Days, we threw out the baby with the bath water.



The last few days I have felt a bit "gun shy" to write much on the blog. I am not a fan of negetivity as I have said before. But here I go and yes, its my thoughts about what we have lost from the good old days.
In the good old days, people had restraint, manners and a sense of kindness that is missing in so many circles today. We hear about the need to "express ourselves", to "say what we think", to "let it all out". But, it's no secret that this has led to some not so pleasant working conditions for people, for road rage, for untamed emotions that have left many feeling hurt and for many depressed. It never seems we have the need to express ourselves in a balance and say a whole rant of wonderful things about a person, or how much we admire them etc. Our desire to express ourselves seems to only include the negative . Maybe this is an indicator of our level of peace and happiness deep within ourselves.
I don't personally think we need to say every ugly, confrontational thought we have. Not sure what it accomplishes. Since I believe in the Bible I like that verse in Philippians 4 verse 8 that speaks of something very positive, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

It's no secret that our society has grown more violent, less tolerant of others opinions and certainly less happy. Its not uncommon to have people come up to another and say things like, "you're ugly", "you are stupid" "I don't like you" . I think there is even a song about, " I think you ugly" or something like that.
Maybe it makes someone feel "good" to say that, but it sure doesn't feel good to hear it. Its an incredibly selfish way to live, to always say what you think, regardless of how much it hurts another.
Remember hearing, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" ? I have heard more, read more, seen more on unpleasantness in work places in the past decade than in my entire life. It seems restraint has just gone out the door. Restraint in our words, in our anger on the road, in our spending, in our "wants" and on and on.
There are some things from the good old days I wish we could hold dear, like kindness, ethics, honor, restraint, working together for a common goal and the ability to be motivated by the greater good.
If with all this "express yourself" mentality we had become kinder, less violent, less self centered, less angry, less depressed, more happy, better marriages, more well adjusted children throughout society, then we could say this concept was working. But since we have become a people of watching, hearing and saying so many negatives, we have become a nation that is less happy. Propriety is a word rarely used. Contentment, an ideal nearly forgotten.

Those in the world we have admired the most, such as Mother Teresa, The Dalai Lama, and so on, are known and loved for their kind words to others.

A UFO knitted afghan that was taken out this week and worked on
Tuk Tuk, not so sure he likes this snow stuff
an ice covered wood pile

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi Patty,

I feel so badly that you have so many negative experiences with people. I guess I'm really lucky. I do both live and work in a place where the positives still truly outweigh the negatives. Our entire company focuses on the positives, and looks at peoples "opportunities for growth" instead of negatives. We all support each other. We may not all like each other - there are a few people that really bug me - but we've learned to focus on each person's strengths and ignore what we don't like. I'm very blessed to have found such an organization to work for. And to live in a community where this is pretty much the norm rather than the exception. Things must be a lot different in Texas. That surprises me, because so many Texans seem to think it's the best place there is.

1chartfp@comcast.net
Gina said…
Wow! This really hit home for me today. Lately, my partner and I disagree a good deal on how his kids (boys, 17 and 19) behave, deal with school, etc. I too often "let it out" and don't think about how my rants fall on the ears of a parent. I feel I have a right to speak my mind when a child fails a class, but perhaps, I need to wait until those words come with clarity and a positive tone, rather than with venom and a negative tone. Thank you for this message. I know you were talking about something else entirely (comments, etc.), but I learned something valuable. Thank you.
Patty said…
Hi Patti,
Its not that I have had many negetive experiences. That is not what I meant. I was refering to the recent few negetive comments on my blog and then the many many instances you read about, hear about, see with your own eyes about people just being unkind to one another. Rosie and Trump for instance. Road rage, music etc.
My life is incredibly blessed with wonderful people. But that is not the case for everyone. On our news station recently, a man called in, irate, that so much of the news cast was about the local tornados, he was mad, because he wanted to see sports reporting. Imagine how that made the people who lost everything in the tornado feel ? Its that aspect of saying what you feel that is so unkind.
Patty said…
Hi Gina,
When my girls were small, a man came to the house to do the census. He was an amazing man, raised a large family and 3 of his sons were ministers.
We asked him how he raised such a good family, they were all fine young people. He said something that stuck with me.
He said, "my wife and I never said anything negetive about church, the minister, the school, the teachers etc in front of the children, we didn't tear down the very things we hoped for them to see the good in".
Oh my, hit me hard. So many times its so easy to say in front of the children, something negetive and then we wonder why our children loose confidence and respect for those very things.
Anonymous said…
Your afghan is very pretty on the chair, the way you have it draped it looks like a child's jacket. Where did you get the pattern? Looks very scandinavian.

I've been blessed with great neighbor friends in my part of the sticks. We visit, share dessert and dinners and bonfires and stop to talk when we pass in the road. I'm a "waver" ;0). I think people are so negative because our connections are so fleeting, life is not shared, and also it may a way to protect oneself from being hurt--being the "dumper" rather than the "dumpee". Which all leaves a big hole. At least it's very easy to "delete" the negative.

I've been enjoying your pix--what camera do you use(I'm camera shopping)? Here's a slice of cyber pumpkin pie and some orange spice tea(ps, come visit if you'd like--twostix.blogspot.com)

Happy Day!
Celeste
Patty said…
Hi Celeste,
The pattern is adapted from a Better Homes and Garden book called, Christmas Quilts and Afghans. It has some wonderful patterns in the book. I am really drawn to Scandinavian designs so this pattern called me.
Good snowy day to you, Patty!

I've thought some of the same things in regards to my blog. I really want to focus on the good and the positive and in the back of my mind, I sometimes hear this nagging voice telling me to quit "trying" to be a goody -goody. It's not that I don't have problems or see all the negativity around me but I have to ask myself, "Why would I put that burden on mere humans, rather than the ONE that can truly change HOW I perceive the situations around me?" You seem to have a good handle on that aspect of your life. Thank you for sharing it with those of us that are still gaining some footing on this narrow path set before us.
Patti said…
I so agree with you! I get weary of people who take the attitude in their blogs of, if your not doing it my way YOU ARE WRONG.. I confess at times I tend to point out their inflexability and not without a touch of sarcasm at times. But as I said I agree with you and see that I may need to dull my quick wit.at times.if I have to.I guess.LOL
Anonymous said…
Amen.
JoAnn said…
Patty,
Once again you gave us food for thought and beautiful pictures to go along with it. What more could we ask? JoAnn TN
Jacran Cottage said…
You did it again! Hit the nail on the head. It pains me sometimes to see how much negativity comes from some people. It has from me at times as well, but I try so hard to focus on the positive things around me because I really believe that if you focus on the positive then the negative loses strength.

There is a lot to be said for the old fashioned values.

The first photo in this post, can you tell me about that little stove beside the quilt. I remember something looking like that when I was growing up but I'm not sure what it was.

Jackie in ON
Patty said…
Hi Jackie,
the little stove is an old kerosene heater. We don't use it but I love it and have a little light inside of it so it will cast the shadows on the wall, like the one my parents used when I was a little child. It gives me such good memories of sitting for the longest time, just thrilled by the diamond shaped shadows on the wall and ceiling. Simple enjoyment to be sure.
They are pretty dangerous to use though, suck the oxygen right out of the air I am told. Even though this one, purchased on ebay, works, we are not comfortable using it.
Just a tiny night light is inside to give just enough light to make the ceiling and walls alive with fun shadows

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