First Thoughts of The Day

I am not sure what most people think about the moment their feet hit the floor in the morning but I do know what I think about.... "what can I do to become a better person today ?"
Before I think about what to have for breakfast or what to wear, or what is on the agenda for today, my thoughts turn to what I need to work on to be a better person. Maybe because there is so much work to be done !
I suspect reaching this stage in my life, the busy-ness has lessened and there is more time for looking honestly at who I am.
The past couple years have brought so many changes in my life and during transition you worry so much about getting to the next place on this journey of life that you hardly take time to understand the purpose of where you just were.
Although in my life and probably in most peoples lives, there remains certain constants. Things that never change much, there are the stretching and steps that take us further on. And there are times when we take a few steps backwards for whatever reason. Which even in itself can be a teacher if we look at each step honestly.
With the recent negativity by way of comments on my blog, I knew right away that my problem was not with what they said, since it was not the truth, but for me it is still this pride thing, this idea of holding on to self. I was indignant...."how dare they say that, its not true". I have been here before and felt all this before but never grew from it, so the lesson comes again and will come over and over I suspect until I get the message. Its not their words, its my reaction to them that needs the work.
We are often offended when a mirror is held up to our heart and we see our own reflection. Great peace comes when confrontation doesn't get to us, doesn't hit us in our ego. Doesn't go beyond the frontal lobe so to speak.
When someone says something negative and not correct, that is simply their view and does not change the facts. If their facts are wrong, what stands tall is the truth that remains. So why do we get so ticked off when people confront us with what is their concept of the thing ? Because we want so badly to be seen in only good light. It's normal I suppose. We feel some great overpowering need to justify ourselves. In some cases maybe we need to, today I am not sure what those cases might be. We also wish to see them made to look foolish and what is to be gained from that ? Nothing, it helps no one. I am so thankful for the blessings gained by this recent experience, it has made me grow spiritually. It has made me look deep into my own self. That is why I am still talking about it, but hopefully in what is seen as a positive way.
Today I am thinking about how much I miss the kindness of where I left. There is what the outside world calls, being sheltered, being ignorant of world situations, being naive and the like in the plain world but sometimes if I had to weigh those aspects with knowing so much about things in the world that are disturbing, well, the scale tells the truth of which is better. I miss the gentleness of the sheltered environment in some ways. The constant and sure kind reactions to situations. The shelter in the storm.
Today, as I go about my day, the prayer on my lips will be to not be so attached to self. To work on surrendering my pride more and more. To walk in quiet gratitude for this simple life.
Yes, today I miss the good things about the "plain" life which is o.k. to do, but also realizing its not a place I can go back to.


Our pony Tony, taken several years ago on a day just such as this day