A Morning Ramble

The air is cooler this morning and there is a nice breeze....makes me feel hopeful that true autumn weather will indeed arrive. Pine cones are dropping off our trees in front. Landing with a tiny thud, bursting with seeds. I save everyone of them. Since the trees are young still, there aren't multitudes of them, actually only one of the three trees has pine cones so far. These three pine trees are my rather lame attempt to hold onto an old dream of mine of having a log cabin in the woods, the woods of Maine that is. That dream has taken me to where we are now, not in the woods of Maine, but to this homestead kind of life. I may not have my log cabin, but I do have so many other aspects of that life I envisioned over 40 years ago.

Maybe, life is what you make it. By the choices you make, right from the point of who you chose or don't chose to marry. Not long ago I was looking up an old friend on the computer. With those "people search" type sites you can find lots of people and if you wanted to pay a fee, you can find out all kinds of information. But I was just looking for what city this person lives in and then I could look up her address in a phone book. Much to my surprise, she was listed but with 6 last names ! Come to find out, she has been married nearly that many times. Made me wonder about the choices she has made in her life. Now, don't get in a tizzy, I am not condemning her, just feeling a bit bad for her, because there was a lot of pain in her life, admittedly she states that it was due to HER choices. She herself takes the blame. There are children involved too. His, hers, theirs, and more. Torn apart families. Divorce is always combined with pain on some level, and there is pain in staying with someone that is not loving. I count my blessings. I am thankful for praying friends that prayed for me to find the right man. One dear friend actually prayed for over a year that Emery and I get to know one another and get married. She told me only after we started dating. She said she prayed three times a day faithfully that if it be Gods will, that we marry. My family was not a personal prayer kind of family and I doubt it ever crossed anyones mind to pray about such things for me or for anyone else. That's sad isn't it ? From the moment my girls were born, Emery and I prayed that God would be preparing just the right mate for them and our girls knew we prayed that for them. I think that in life its easier to have a husband/wife that shares similar goals, has similar or the same value system. It sure has made life easier for us in that way. 30 years of deep and abiding love with our hearts and minds set on the same goals.

When I was outside, going about my chores, lifting 50 lb feed sacks out of the car and taking them to the barn, I mused that this is exactly what I wanted in my life all those years ago when I dreamed of a log cabin in the woods. My house isn't a log cabin but still I have the lifestyle that a cabin in the woods represented for me. Hard work, sleeping soundly, "living green" before that was even a phrase, living a life not all tangled up with stress and demands. Being satisfied to stop and hear the birds sing or watch the clouds float by. Knowing the beauty of a quiet evening with the fire crackling. Having children that were filled with joy and were a blessing and not a curse. And feeling something deep inside of you, a thing called faith. Faith is a feeling and it gives you peace in a world that seems to be running in the opposite direction

Melanie, resting in the sunshine