The work of change

My grandmother used to tell me that a sky like the one in the picture, meant a change in the weather. Its a pretty reliable predictor of weather.
This week, I thought a lot about change and the work it takes to make changes in your life.
Since joining the fitness center, I have worked out at least 6 hours a week, often more. Its not easy. Some days I don't feel like going but I do anyway, and then when I go, the work is hard and my body feels it the next day. Each night I fall into bed and sleep like a baby.
I have been working on changing my eating habits too. My portions are smaller, much smaller. I eat slower and have no problem not finishing what is on my plate. It has taken discipline for me to make these changes and it isn't always easy.
Today in Tai Chi class I actually looked at myself in the mirror. That is such a hard thing for me to do. I can't seem to make peace with my own image. Not looking at myself means not facing that I let myself get overweight. Its a hard thing for me to face.
Then there is the hard work of changing thought patterns, and dumping the thoughts that don't serve you well. That's not easy. We make our own truths early on and hate to part with them, even though we know they are not really the truth.
Its not easy for me to find the discipline to watch what I wear and care about hair and make-up. Not that I go out for the made up look, but a bit looks nice. Today I even purchased skin care products. Did research and made a decision on what my skin needs to stay healthy looking. I am not looking for eternal youth, but I am not going to submit to this ageing process without a bit of a fight.
I was a jeans and tee shirt person for many years, then went to Mennonite clothing, which is another way of hiding yourself. Now, its tough for me to consider appearance. Its hard work making these changes, but like the old saying, hard work never hurt anyone !