For the Love of Home

This morning I gave myself permission to just stay home and pitter patter around the house. I had an appointment with my trainer for a workout session, but I felt less than energetic. Not sick, but not rearing to go either. I just wanted to stay home all day long.
Its nearly 10 in the morning and I am still in my pajama's. The fire is glowing, some favorite music playing on the stereo, Loreena McKennitt's CD Book of Secrets and my all time favorite CD of hers, The Visit. I made myself some peppermint coffee, had some toast made with Carrot bread, sat down and just listened to the music. Got a couple ameretti cookies after the toast was gone.
Burned some incense, exotic smells to go along with the music. Ancient sounds mixed with new. A blending of emotions from times past and present.
There is no better place in the world to me than this little house of ours. Its real. No pretending. Its a structure that holds our needs and our love. It doesn't own us. It doesn't require more than we wish to give. And it isn't giving any impression we are more than we are. One thing I love about this place is that its old and has a history. I was thinking this morning that it has experienced 91 Christmases. It has no doubt seen babies born and people die. It has held laughter and tears of 9 decades. That is really not long when you consider how old this world of ours is, but its long enough to let my mind fly with thoughts about those who laid their heads to rest in warm beds after a hard days work. And wonderings about the young girls who may have seen their first beau arrive at this front door. And about the family that had the Christmas tree that caught fire and nearly burned the house down. You can still see the charred beams in the attic.
For me, today, its a home that brings a deep and abiding sense of peace and freedom. I took out some colored pencils and drew our old cottonwood, I didn't care that it was not a masterpiece, it was fun and a way to express a connection to the land.
I had time to take touch my fabric stash and decide that today I will sew some and use this and that fabric.
I took out butter to soften, for baking cookies later. Simple freedom. I guess you might say it comes at a cost that some are not willing to pay. The cost, simplicity and no show. No fancy extras in life. But I am not fancy so it works well.
Pier and beam foundation that connects us to the earth with floors that creak and squeak. Low ceilings and old doors. When the house was built it had just three rooms. At some point two bedrooms were added on and a bathroom too. The bedrooms have slopping ceilings that are low and no where in this house is a closet bigger than 3x4 feet. And for the whole house there are only 3 closets. Simplicity comes at the cost of not being able to show off. I see that as a good thing, but not everyone does.
There are folks that won't come to visit us simply because we live out in the boonies in a small old house. It makes me smile. I don't hold it against them, just lets you know what they value you for. When we had the big new house they came to visit. Behind the walls of our little house is peace and love so deep it makes me sob to think about the power of it. Sob because its so deeply profound, joy so deep you can't put it into words. Emotions so powerful they overflow at times and fall to the earth in sparkling tears.
This little house allows us to concentrate on the things that matter to us. Its the same thing with our car. It works great, its old and looks like it has a skin disease as the paint is doing some odd peeling and fading. It has nearly 200,000 miles on it, and is a whopping 15 years old. But it works wonderfully and it hauls hay bales and feed sacks. It has a inside roof that is scratched and peeling from hauling trees that now shade our land. It carried 4 children on many long trips with room to spare.
Way back in 1990 a friend of mine had a Taurus wagon just like what ours is, even the same color. I loved it, and said it was my dream car, well not really my dream car, that is a Volvo station wagon, but this Taurus was good. Here I am with one now. I love it. Emery keeps it in perfect running condition. Its not bad on gas mileage either. So why get a new one ?
So today I am taking you around to see what I am seeing here at home. Wood smoke drifts up to they sky as though reaching right up to heaven. I can feel that too. A connection to something much bigger than we can understand fully in this life. Today I feel like it would suit me just fine to never have to go beyond our land.

Christmas cards, coffee and cookies
looking down the hallway from the kitchen to the living room
just fun drawing a picture of our cottonwood tree
My rocker by the woodstove

I am grateful for:
Sunshine and clouds too
Rain and snow
Daughters that share so much with me
A son who calls every day just to say hello
A husband that is forever and always
Good son in laws
A delightful daughter in law
Cold mornings and warm socks
The smell of incense
Books
Music that stirs the soul
Feather beds
Quilts that comfort
Knitted hats that cover bad hair days and keep you warm
Good chocolate