Discovery for me is like the notes on a wind chime

Discovery for me is like the notes played on a wind chime. Each day I think I have it all figured out, and then I don't. Often times I wonder with honesty, that what I say my beliefs are, is motivated more by some loyalty to the teachings of my youth as opposed to what I really believe. It is a fact, a plain and simple fact that there are folks in the world that are so motivated by fear of hell and condemnation that they refuse to even question what they have been taught. It can be a crippling kind of fear. For me, there is not that deep fear, but some if I am honest and there is a hesitancy to put away the things I no longer believe in, as if they are the very thing that keeps me connected to certain folks in the world. A common thread of sorts, yet it soon can become words only. No matter how hard I try to believe in the teachings of my youth, it causes a struggle, a tossing of directions, to and fro, like waves on the sea or the gentle bending and twisting of smoke in the afternoon sun. It is not a bad thing, it can be a good thing to not stay in one place especially if its not the right place for you to be in. Finding that right place often takes on the life of a see saw ride until one is sure and strong in conviction. We often take the opinion that maintaining one direction is the only way. However, that one way may just be the wrong way for us and better we go back and forth and check the trail a few times, making sure which is the right way for us, than going for years on the trail that is not meant to be our own personal journey. For now, I will enjoy the journey of discovery, no matter how many twists and turns it holds for me. I am not stationary. I am on a journey and going backwards at times may be a bit of comfort, but it is not my destination.