Prejudice is alive and thriving, sad to say.
In the hospital today I had an experience that left me feeling sure that we humans can be very ugly from time to time. I have no patience for intolerance for other belief systems and I have no understanding of bigotry. I just simply do not understand judging people because of their belief system, their color, the way they wear their hair or any such thing. I sure have no right to put people in certain slots and dislike them before ever knowing them.
While waiting for Mei-Ling to have her test there was a lovely Islamic woman, dressed in all black, her hijab framing her face in pure femininity. She was elegant really and you could see and feel the tenderness she had for her beautiful daughter of about one year old. Her little girl was so sweet and the mother was simply beautiful.
I watched this woman for a moment, admiration in my heart for her. I know what it is to cover your head, dress modestly and have everyone stare at you. But she seemed so timid, almost fearful of the way people looked at her. I know she felt judged. It seemed all wrong to me for her to have to feel that way. I could see the prejudice in some of the faces in the room. It was ugly.
I spoke to her about her child being so pretty, she moved across the room, to be nearer to us and grew more and more comfortable talking to me. She was a delightful young mother of two with a sick child, there was a commonality of everyone in that room, sick children, yet she was scorned, you could feel it, because of how she was dressed and what people think they know about it. This attitude seemed archaic to me. There was tangible prejudice in the room. With each new arrival in the waiting room, I could sense this young vibrant mother tense up, fear was real for her. She was no terrorist, she was a mother with a sick child. She knew what some people had written on their faces. I saw it too.
We chatted a bit more and then it was time for her to go and she turned and thanked me for talking to her. I never gave it a thought, it was just a conversation with a woman with a child at the hospital, a little chat about her daughter and motherhood. She wants more children, but not sure her husband is ready for more. I told her children are a blessing and we agreed about that. She as glad to know 4 children doesn't seem like a lot to me. She would like 4. It was woman talk....we had much in common. I saw that right away. Love of family, love of children, her love of God and really that is what we should see in one another, the things we all have in common.
While waiting for Mei-Ling to have her test there was a lovely Islamic woman, dressed in all black, her hijab framing her face in pure femininity. She was elegant really and you could see and feel the tenderness she had for her beautiful daughter of about one year old. Her little girl was so sweet and the mother was simply beautiful.
I watched this woman for a moment, admiration in my heart for her. I know what it is to cover your head, dress modestly and have everyone stare at you. But she seemed so timid, almost fearful of the way people looked at her. I know she felt judged. It seemed all wrong to me for her to have to feel that way. I could see the prejudice in some of the faces in the room. It was ugly.
I spoke to her about her child being so pretty, she moved across the room, to be nearer to us and grew more and more comfortable talking to me. She was a delightful young mother of two with a sick child, there was a commonality of everyone in that room, sick children, yet she was scorned, you could feel it, because of how she was dressed and what people think they know about it. This attitude seemed archaic to me. There was tangible prejudice in the room. With each new arrival in the waiting room, I could sense this young vibrant mother tense up, fear was real for her. She was no terrorist, she was a mother with a sick child. She knew what some people had written on their faces. I saw it too.
We chatted a bit more and then it was time for her to go and she turned and thanked me for talking to her. I never gave it a thought, it was just a conversation with a woman with a child at the hospital, a little chat about her daughter and motherhood. She wants more children, but not sure her husband is ready for more. I told her children are a blessing and we agreed about that. She as glad to know 4 children doesn't seem like a lot to me. She would like 4. It was woman talk....we had much in common. I saw that right away. Love of family, love of children, her love of God and really that is what we should see in one another, the things we all have in common.
Comments
Muslim women are all over here in Germany and I have talked with a few who were just so very nice and willing to help. They are just normal human beings with the same challenges in life that we face. People need to look beyond the clothing.
Right now I am dealing with a Christian woman who is trying to tell me she is correct in her way of 'teaching me' that I am legalistic, intollerant, pushy, rude and I am wrong because I wear a headcovering and modest dress. It's getting to the point no matter what I say she keeps going on and on. Honestly I don't need this drama as it's beginning to put a damper on my little world, so I may have to cut the ties soon if she doesn't stop. She is constantly on my appearance and for the sole reason to tell me that I am wrong. *sigh*
I am glad you chatted with this woman and made her feel like she was worth something :)
God Bless!
I've been reading and enjoying your blog for a few months now, and have looked back in the archives too. Even used your pumpkin roll recipe, thanks! And sent prayers for Mei-Ling.
I've wanted to make comments before (I love hats, too!) but here's the first... my sister has lived in Texas for 25 years or so, and seems to have absorbed an intense bigotry she was not raised with in New England. The rest of the family still in the north can't quite understand where it all came from, but she can really rant on it. She might easily be one of those folks the Muslim woman was afraid of. So sad. And poisonous too.
What does that Sting song say... "you blow up his children, you only prove him right"?
Here in Nova Scotia, I make sure I smile at the moms with head scarves, and chat when the opportunity comes up. It's making a community that will make the difference. They are not so afraid in Canada - Iraq is not our conflict, but when I think of my sister's attitude, I try to do my best to be the counter-balance.
Thank you for your blog - I check in almost every day - I've found a peaceful inspiration in it. - Jane
The vast majority of Muslims are peace-loving but people seem to think they're all extremists.
When you think of what some of the women have been through in Afghanistan, for example, I don't see how you could have anything but empathy for them.
I'm really glad you reached out to this woman and helped her to know that there are people in the world who do not hate or judge and who care about others, regardless of any differences.
I hope that everything goes well with Mei-Ling. She sounds like a little fighther!
~Jen M.
Thank you for this wonderful post. Your post was most timely in light of the news story released today saying that a higher majority of Americans than ever before are distrustful of their Muslim neighbors! My sister-in-law wears hijab, and I can feel a palpable current when in public with her. The most profound was the day we went to my daughter's preschool (a school my children had been attending for 4.5 years!). I was never questioned when I entered that building, until the day I entered with my hijabi sister-in-law. I was seething inside. She, unfortunately, was quite pragmatic and resigned. A wonderful way to address a Muslim, by the way, is by saying salam. It means peace in Arabic.
Jane P., I'm not sure what part of Texas your sister is living in, but I can assure that most Texans are NOT hateful bigots. I am a born and raised West Texan. Texas is just like any other place...there is hatred, but just like with Muslims, most Texans are friendly "give you the shirt off their back" kind of people.
Thanks for your thoughts on good hearted folks in Texas. I don't know exactly why my sister has developed this intolerance, and I don't blame Texas or Texans. My grandfather's family was Texan, and my husband has been working with lovely people in Austin - all kind people.
Actually, I'm suspicious of her husband, that the ideas came from him, and he grew up in Pennsylvania... so yes, I can see darkness can be in people's hearts anywhere, and light too. I'm sad that she has absorbed all these bigoted thoughts. It doesn't make her a happier person.
(I was pretty sure there are kind and loving and open minded people in Texas...Patty is one of them.)
And I'll remember "salam" too. Thanks!
Thanks for your post. I often have those same thoughts. Problem is, for women in such positions, reaching out probably looks like an impossibility. What some of us might call domestic violence is an ugly, ugly thing, and it is a trap.
I wager there are times when the women are choosing it. You can often tell by how a woman carries herself whether or not she is content or whether or not she is afraid.
~Jen M.
When I said "whether or not she is choosing it," I meant the mode of dress, NOT whether or not a woman is choosing to be abused.
Goodness gracious! I need to re-read my posts before I publish them! LOL!
~Jen M