Another Long Day at the Hospital

I am not complaining here about spending my day at the hospital with Melanie and Mei-Ling, I am just so anxious to have the wee one back in her own home, in her own crib, playing with her own little toys, not hooked up to monitors, no tubes and wires. The days seem endless with worry, Melanie is worn to a frazzle. Casi is too but doesn't show it, he is a strong young man.
I miss our family meals and all the laughter. I don't even remember what the word "carefree" means. Every day feels so long, just like this corridor in the hospital that you have to walk each time you go visit the baby. On the flip side, we are all so grateful for this amazing hospital, that has saved the life of this precious one.
I feel old. I have never felt old before. My energy level is about nil. I keep thinking about running and then sit in a chair instead, wondering how I ever did run, it seems like such work to me now. And I understand all too well how Melanie feels, been there, felt that way and it is a nightmare. Knowing really how it feels makes it harder in some ways. She knows I understand, she knows because we almost lost her and I sat by her bedside day and night for what seemed like eternity. I also know my heart is filled with joy that this wee one will be fine, but to be honest, we are all so tired, the joy hardly shows on our faces. And the nature of man is to share the hard details, get them out, spill them out of our brains to anyone that will listen so we don't explode from keeping such pain inside. Its only been a few days that she has been in the hospital, but somehow when she is there, struggling with life, you suddenly connect to the last time she was in the hospital, and the time before that and so on, they run together, bumping out the good days for a bit. As if hospital stays were a string of beads with no space in between.
Not sure I would have ever understood this without experiencing it... I think if I knew someone going through something similar before this, I would have told them stupid things like, "think about the good days" or "look on the bright side" you know all those phrases we say like that, but in reality words like, "we are praying for you" seem to comfort the best. The good days feel lost for the moment. They will return and the hospital days will grow dim. That's the good part.
Another long day at the hospital, and long they are, the clocks there turn slower I am sure. The minutes tick at a different rate, just ask anyone with a sick child and they will confirm that fact.
Praying for this sweet one to be able to go home soon.

I just noticed in the picture, there is a light at the end !