“Life is a sum of all your choices.”

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.”
"Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.”
“What is a rebel? A man who says no”
"In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion”
"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”
"Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.”
"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
"The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.”
"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.”
"Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.”

All these quotes by Albert Camus gives us pause for thought. This morning I was thinking about how we are the sum of all our experiences and then thought about Camus' quote that our lives are the sum of all our choices. Experiences can just happen, it can be part of our childhood that we had no control over or what we have experienced because of our looks, many things really. But also we are in control of so many choices we make and those too become part of the sum of who we are.
I have chosen to not to purchase the fluffy towels of life. I did for a short while while living in Southern California and found they did not give as much as they cost, figuratively and literally. I have had experiences from choices made that have given me direction in life, both on where to head and where to never go again.
As much as I learned from our time in the "plain" world, I would never go back, it would mean going backwards. I am not so blind as to believe that clothing makes a person righteous, or that driving a buggy makes a person a spiritual being. Often times these externals are screens to hide behind, blankets to cover hearts that are exclusive, haughty, and centered on externals more than reaching out with compassion to those in the world. I wrote just a bit ago that it seems easier to be worried about looking godly rather than acting godly. Only conversation soon paints the correct picture.
I have made choices that I would do over and over again if I had to, they were profoundly life changing for the good. Marrying Emery, having children, homeschooling them, letting them learn with freedom, hiking, camping, dancing, eating healthy, raising independent thinkers, learning to look beyond what I assumed I knew for certain, studying the worlds great religions, specifically Buddhism and devouring books of value. Pledging to learn something new every single day and sticking to it. Choosing to live simply on this old planet, walking gently through it and now this week I have learned something new.....at one time or another, we all have to reconcile with the fact that we have to be real with who we are, comfortable in being just what we are, the sum of all our choices. One of my choices, is to not have the fluffy towels !
I feel reconciled today in accepting that the sum of my life changes daily as I add things to it and take some away. I am reconciled and feel at peace that I am much more than one dimensional. I am the one who loves the quote from Under the Tuscan Sun....."You have to live Spherically, in many directions and never loose your childish enthusiasm and then things will come your way"

Comments

Anonymous said…
You know this post gives a lot of food for thought. Growing up poor and then being financially challenged for years as a young family ourselves, we always had scratchy towels. As a young woman I really wanted those fluffy towels - they were a symbol of "arriving" of finally having "enough". A couple of years ago I finally saved up and got some fluffy towels that were on sale. You know what? I finally realized I can do without them. They're not all that great. I get dried off quicker with non-fluffy towels. Isn't it interesting how we so often want something far off, and then when we finally arrive, we realize that where we were - the present - was always exactly what we needed for right then?
Jenny said…
Who would have thought that a simple comment about fluffy towels would have sparked so many comments in return.
I feel so many people travel through their lives never giving a thought to why they do what they do.If challenged I'm sure most would say their decision is based on what everyone else does or aspires to or essentially what advertising tells them to aspire to.
I was in a paint shop once and heard a woman ask what was the most popular shade of beige because that was what she wanted for her walls.I'm sure we have all felt the desperate need to fit in and that seems to mean looking like the group we identify with or seek to be identified with. It seems to be a human compulsion , to have a herd, and sometimes it's really hard to feel that you are out on your own. I do think it is worth it in the long run though, to think about how you really want to live and then follow through.

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