Grinding Wheat Together

When Blogger likes me better, I will add the photo that was intended to go with this. I gave up after 6 attempts at uploading it !

For some time now, perhaps a couple years, I have been watching people. Listening to their life stories, and hearing the same theme deep within each line.
Some people want to take for the hills, and homestead. Changing life completely. Getting " Off Grid" and seeking their peace and happiness that way. Other folks, eat too much, trying to numb the things they are feeling, mostly loneliness, even with people all around them. Others shop till they drop and end up with credit card debt so beyond what they can pay off, they are visiting the Doctor for depression in no time. Fights over money the biggest reason for divorce in the country.
Some or many have jobs that stink. There is little of no loyalty on either end. Bosses on ego trips. Maybe they are out of control in their personal lives so they become office Control Freaks, trying to control everyone around them, without compassion, patience, fairness or any hint of ethics. We work for things, SUV's that guzzle gas, big homes that suck money from people and although big and spacious, you have no time or money left to have people over to see what you work for. Closets full of stuff you have no idea why you bought and garages packed with no room for the car. Just all this stuff.
Many children seem totally self centered, and they have no idea how to play or amuse themselves. Super Nanny needed in more homes than not. Hard to give proper discipline to your children when you can't discipline yourself.
Rooms full of gadgets that we hope will keep them happy, but I suspect they are just like the rest of us, lonely and would rather have real people in their lives other than on line friends, game boys, x box and the like.
Its a tough world out there and what we really should be seeking is real, face to face in person friendships and family connections.
Friendships and family unity takes time and commitment. And we are on some sort of conveyer belt of rushing and acquiring that doesn't allow us to get off and work towards the things that will really meet our needs.
I have lots of computer friends but there is something strange and uncommitted about that sort of friendship. Your email taken wrong, some simple misunderstanding, no facial expressions to show it was what it really was and voila, you are gone, sent to deletia, taken out of the address book, put on a blocked list and that's that. Simple, no work, can't be bothered etc.
In my mothers day, she had family all around her. I grew up with cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc all in walking distance. If my mother was busy, I had Gram or a cousin or someone handy to chat with. My mother had real friends, not computer buddies. She could do her house work in the morning, look around and say, "wonder if Mary would like to come for coffee? " call her up and in no time Mary or whoever she called would be at the door. They could see each other, see expressions on each others face and talk about serious things or crafts or just life. Life was like that. Simple in that way. Once a month the ladies met for Craft night and had fun sharing ideas and recipes, they bowled on Tuesday mornings, they had woman's missionary meetings at church one evening a month. They dressed up, no jeans and tees for them. Social needs were met. No one had storage buildings full of stuff or ate more than what they needed to. Women might be plumpish, but I didn't know obese ladies then. Possessions didn't take center stage, relationships did.
Men don't seem to have the same needs as women do. We are a social lot. We invent cyber groups, looking for social connections, only they are not quite meeting all our needs. And we can delete them with a click of a key. Not so easy with face to face friends and we have our cyber friends on our terms on our time. We don't learn to give and take with the same level of patience. So few people have family all around now. Big holiday get togethers, picnics, and the like. Our children don't know many second cousins I fear. Family is scattered. So here were are in a progressive world, with instant everything, including friends, but we are missing something. We are not sitting around the grind stone grinding wheat together. Talking, being women. We are chasing after pipe dreams, hollow things that leave us empty. We don't even recognize what we want. So we fill up on what's at hand, food and shopping. A quick fix that doesn't last.
I really believe things like the Red Hat Society have popped up and become so popular because of our need for friendships that are real and not just cyber.
I am personally making a commitment to create a circle of friends that are the kind of women who want this very same thing. The kind that will bring casseroles to one another in times of need. Women who can just pop over for coffee or tea. Women that want to have a sense of community.
I miss that about the Mennonite life, but that is changing for them too. They are getting more money and money can separate you from need and need is what people help us with and fill a need within us. You think when you have money, you can do so many things by yourself, be independent. You can but that's not all its cracked up to be.
Friendship takes time and energy. It takes putting up with stuff from time to time. We are not perfect.
Homesteading and getting off grid might put us in touch with seeing where are needs really are, but it won't fill the needs within us unless we reach out.
The high executive life might give us things and give us a sense of worth, but we retire and then what is left, memories and the fact that no time was there for making life long friends that are close to us, in our homes for coffee with no fan fare. Just "grinding wheat" together.
Voids can be filled. It just takes some time to figure out what the container is in need of.