Monday Morning Thoughts

I am not much of a worry wart, well at least not about how things will work out, or about things but when it comes to Emery and our children, I can become a worry wart if they are late arriving home or they can't be reached. Last night a belt on our car broke on the way home from town. We had Casi come rescue us and then Emery drove back to where the car was stranded, new belt in hand, prepared to replace it. It was growing late so I called him on his cell phone, no answer.... I tried again a bit later and still no answer. I started to get a bit worried at this point. Stuffing down all my scary thoughts of what could have happened. Finally after trying a few more times to reach him, I called Casi and Melanie and asked one of them to drive into town to check on him. It was only 5 miles from here, so not a big trip. He was fine of course, just had his cell phone in the car while he was UNDER the car and never heard it.
I kept thinking about how much I love this man, while I was waiting to hear from him, worried.
When my girls would stay out later than I thought they should, I would worry about them, and also sit thinking about how much they mean to me. Worry sort of softens your heart towards the one you love, oh you might be mad at them for worrying you or not calling, but deep inside there is this flood of love from just the thought of how much love you feel for them.
This morning, watching Little House on the Prairie, Caroline was worried sick about Charles being gone so long in a storm. She hugged and hugged him when he finally arrived home. So aware of how deep her love for him was.
Now a days, we just call on the cell, it alleviates so much worry, which is a good thing, but I also think that a bit of worry is not all that bad either. Instead of saying, "oh, they are just fine, talked to them on the cell," worry drives us to face just how much we love the person, how deep our heart feels, and we have a slightly better idea of the strength of the heartstrings that bind us all together. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying toss the cell phones so you can worry and know how deep your love is, I am just saying that somehow we loose a bit of that connection to how much our loved ones fill us, give us. Its hard to explain....I just know that as much as I love Emery and we tell each other all the time, I felt so grateful for his safety last night, felt so tender towards him, more than usual. I understood so clearly through worry, just how much this man means to me.
Opening the front door last night when I heard the car drive up, was a feeling we don't feel as much these days. Relief and gratitude beyond words and a heavy heart made light in an instant.

an old door, open many a time to see a loved one home, safe and sound.