Just Thinking, And Self Checking

Living in a small town affords one the opportunity to watch folks for years and learn from their actions.
Rather slowly, and insidiously, my collection of exercise clothes has spilled over into every day wear. You know, the elastic waist pants, the big baggy tee shirts. No style. Anyone could wear them. The very items I wrote about some time ago on my blog when I talked about “getting the man out of my closet” have made their way back in.
Once again, I am getting rid of the unisex clothing and dressing more feminine.
Its so easy to fall back into lazy habits, so much easier than making changes that take some daily effort on our part. Same with dieting. Its easier to be lazy and have no resolve to change. Same with Positive thinking, it takes effort, daily, until it becomes habit.
No doubt I will never be a fashion queen, its not my nature to care so much about clothing that its on my mind a lot, but watching a neighbor mow the other day shed some light on my current clothing choices.
We have a man in town that is super nice. A bit odd, but really nice. He fixes things for people and has a heart of gold. Unmarried, always hoping to find Miss Right though.
But here is the catch, he is a slob. His hair is always wild, his cloths, baggy, sloppy, certainly never stylish. He drives old vehicles, lives in a house that is also his shop. Not a place to sit or be comfortable. Anyway, I watched him mow and thought to myself, appearance is rather a shallow form of judging a man or woman but…..there is that “but”.
But, appearance tells you something about a person. Like this man, sweet as can be but out of whack when it comes to having his life in order. No woman wants a man that looks like he rolled out of bed with his clothes on and never combs his hair, it says something about how he orders his life. Now, as I was thinking all this, there I was in a baggy old tee shirt, and paint splattered pants on. Not even sure I had combed my hair that morning. My socks were black, my shoes orange, my pants navy blue and my shirt was red. Frightening ! Admittedly, I was painting at the time, but there are days that the look is similar with no reason except laziness on my part, no its not really laziness, its more this thing of comfort and having favorite comfortable things, that happen to NOT match well.
This moment in time, when I realized that I could be portrayed much the same as this neighbor of ours, just a bit out of whack, kind of set me back a step or two in the lane of reality. Ouch ! Did my neighbors and friends see me like I saw this neighbor of ours?
Hope not, but the possibility did exist that I was setting a less than good example of womanliness.
So here I sit this morning, second day of realization regarding the man getting back in my closet along with some lazy habits. Yesterday, I styled my hair, put on a dress, nice shoes, changed my purse to match. Put on a bit of make-up. Noticed the gray hair showing and thought about my post on aging and felt totally torn. Maybe when its all gray I will not dye it. Maybe now I should opt to hide the skunk stripe in the front ? Its not an attempt to hide my age, but what is it then ? Feels a bit like putting on make-up to hide a blemish. My hair is neither gray or brown. Its Grawn or maybe that is Broay.
Anyway, I took care in my appearance yesterday. I was still comfortable. It took no time really. I had a healthy French Woman breakfast. Listened to Josh Groban. Headed off with Melanie to buy some paint. Stopped by to see my love in life and here is the best part. Emery came to the door of his work place, smiled so big and said, “you look beautiful today”. Aaaawwwwwwwwwww ! That was enough for me to know I had fallen off the look nice bandwagon and had to get back on. One can combine comfort and looking like a lady. Of course, I behave better eating wise when I am dressed nice too. If it had not been for our neighbor, reminding me that I could be like him, then today might just be another baggy cotton day.
I wandered around the land this morning, camera in hand. Rain drops stubbornly holding on to the plants and grasses. Patches of blue showing in the sky. Clouds running races across the morning sky.
Asparagus reaching out of the ground like the long fingers of the Jolly Green Giant.
Baby grapes and apricots growing before my eyes like time lapsed photography. Mullein turning up everywhere. Garlic growing in the spiral pattern that I planted them in, making me smile just to see this labyrinth of green. Shallots in little bouquets. Red cabbage leafs, roof tops to tiny fairies. Wisteria dripping sweet blossoms, lavender and white. Rose bushes full of buds, giving me visions of vases full of color and fragrance.
Hollyhock leaves poking out from the earth. Lilies in bloom. Just another wonderful day. Probably time to watch, Under the Tuscan Sun again, to renew my commitment to living spherically and with childlike enthusiasm. To seize the moment !