More About "Simple"

I think I get it, this concept of simple. I saw a bit of a soap opera yesterday. Complicated lives. Someone in jail, someone having an affair, someone with more money than another and flaunting it, someone getting a divorce, someone not sure who their baby belongs to, all that in the 10 minutes I saw ! That is not a simple life. O.K, that might just be the extreme of complicated but it made me think about my own life and how simple it does seem by comparison.
Perhaps, living simply is more about the choices we have made all through our lives and how they add up. Not just in things like, having no clothes dryer, making your own soap, sewing your own clothes, not falling for the "gutta haves". Maybe, living simply, as in the Amish or plain Mennonites way of living, which is so admired, has nothing at all to do with what they have or don't have in regards to material things, but what is deeper than that. Maybe its about not living complicated lives in regard to choices made emotionally, spiritually and socially. Maybe, just maybe this kind of simple life has more to do with limiting the things we subject ourselves to from the world at large and that would answer why some folks have all the modern appliances, not a farm critter in sight, but still seem to live rather simple lives. Living simply may be more about the personal choices made.
I know this is a touchy subject, but one of the reasons my life is so uncomplicated, simple if you were, is because I am married to a fine Christian man. He has always guided us with a gentle but yet strong example. There are not a million mistakes we have had to get over, deal with, and pick up the pieces from. That makes life more simple. Our three children didn't run wild and make mistakes that kept us awake at night or that have caused hardships for the family. I know so many families that deal with hardships because of past broken relationships that will be a part of their lives for ever, complicating things, removing the simple element to some degree or another. Wounded children, broken hearts, someone in jail, drinking problems, anger, immoral behaviors make like difficult. Its not that our life is perfect, its maybe that we had good guidance along the way. I prayed for a husband and didn't settle for someone that didn't share the same beliefs I do or the same goals. We invested every moment into raising our family and our marriage. Its not more simple to make your own soap, going to the store and buying it is far less complicated. Its not more simple to have a huge garden, farm critters and a clothesline, believe me, in January, there is nothing simple about hanging clothes outside. There is nothing simple about keeping a fire burning all winter long to heat the house, but it is rewarding. But what is simple is the joy of kneeling beside Emery at night and praying for our family and thanking God for them. What is simple is the quiet nights where no pressing thoughts fill us, no regret over having spent a fortune on some gadget we don't use any more or days spent wishing for a bigger house. No time spent worrying about if our kids marriages will break up any day now. Without all that worry, things do feel simple and uncomplicated. For us, and throughout this little discourse, I am speaking only about Emery and I and our choices, life is not the same for everyone and all circumstances are different for each person, but for us, the simple aspect has come from a rather straight laced life, which is not boring but joyful. We have chosen to live deliberately. Live to the standards we felt morally and spiritually connected to. We followed a moral code, directions laid out for us in the bible. Sure we failed many times, trying harder the next time to get it right. I sure hope this is not sounding all holier than thou, my intention is so far from that. I am just thinking out loud about what has made our lives simple compared to what I see. Sure, the way we have chosen, has taken us away from a materialistic approach, knowing that here on earth, things will rust and decay. That money is for helping those in need, family first, then others. We pray for prosperity so that we can help more folks in need, not build a finer castle to live in. When it comes down to it, for us, the only simple part of our life is that we simply live with purpose. I have fallen away from my clear purpose at times in this great search for understanding of life. That complicates my life. I guess its time for me to listen to what this post is saying to me... just stick with what has worked all these years and forget about modern enlightenment !

Comments

Janette said…
Once you are complicated- simple is a process. We are living that process. We did put tons of time and energy into our kids- but it was not in a simple world. Now they too will have to work through the process. AT least they have a firm foundation of love to begin at.
I understand what you are saying. Keep writing and you will become even more clear about your purpose:>)
Patty said…
I think raising our children in the mennonite world, kept things less complicated for us. We really stayed away from "the world". Their friends were all part of the community, we had no television, they were homeschooled, dressed plain, no internet, no boyfriends, girlfriends. They all married the first person they kissed ! So their world was simplier and because of that, we have a very different history than lots of folks.
The Stricklands said…
I am not a pessimist, but our world is not a kind place to have a healthy marriage or raise well-grounded children. When you value marriage and family, you have to choose a very narrow road that steers you away from where most people go. I think you are exactly right - simple living isn't about what you have or don't have, what you make or buy. It is about choosing the important things in this life and focusing on those every day.
~Bren~ said…
We both understand how a wounded child can complicate the lives of everyone they touch. Simple living to me has been to remove that power from the wounded one and take back the simpleness of living stress free. Giving this child over to God has been a tremendous help in letting go of those things I can not change. Realizing my place in this childs life has freed me to be what I am suppose to be, which is her mother, not her healer...that job is God's. Make life simplier!!!
Patty said…
You know Bren, in the long run for us, giving over our son to the Lord wasn't enough, not for any of us. Deciding we could not help him and trying to be just his mother and not his healer didn't work either. He couldn't form any relationships, not even with someone that wanted to be a mother to him. Some children are wounded beyond ever reaching. My prayer daily for you, is that your daughter not be so wounded that no gentle touch cannot reach her.
~Bren~ said…
Thank you Patty, and my prayer daily is that my daughter turn out like your Steven!!! You give me hope....
I definitely think you are on the right line of thinking here, but your statement of "choosing to live deliberately" is the one that resonated the most. To me it's not always about not exposing yourself to all the complications of the world, but making the choice to remain simple in the midst of the chaos. For me, that does stem from my trust and faith in God, however I think other people are able to achieve it without necessarily being Christians as well. It's sort of putting mind over matter, trusting that everything will work out, and being satisfied with what you have. In being satisfied, I think you can end up actually wanting less. Great insights! It's always hard for me to keep up with all your posts however! So sorry if my comments are delayed! Hope you are having a wonderful day!

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