Being Discontent

I am not sure what kind of situations give birth to the feelings of being discontent, but I suspect there are more than just a couple situations. Some are deep rooted in the desire to change the direction your life is taking and some reasons are just as simple as looking at a magazine and seeing a room decorated in a way that is appealing. Feeling discontent can arise from visiting the store, seeing a car you like, a hair style, small things. Seeing things we want different from what we have can be a fleeting feeling or something that grows and mutates into full blown discontentment with your entire life.

This week I was looking at another blog and saw the blog owners newly decorated house. I loved it. It was just what I had been wishing my own house looked like. Clean look, bright, the Ikea look. I felt more and more discontent as the days passed when I went into my own living room. I moved the furniture around as if that might help. Then to make matters worse, Melanie and a friend went to Ikea yesterday, coming home with excitement and full of ideas for their own changes in their houses. I actually felt a bit cheated that I had not gotten to go and see all the things I really wanted.

We are inundated with things to want, commercials on TV, stores, magazines, catalogs, and yes even blogs. We see bodies better than our own, plastic surgery to give us that look we want. Clothes that promise to make us look like " a million". Shoes that promise to give us legs that look longer and sexy. Hair color and shampoos that will make our hair shine like the silk. Cars that will make us look successful and furniture that will give us homes like in a magazine.

Normally the things we have in our home are pleasing to me. The house is comfy, people like to visit and say its so homey and lovely, but this week I want to just dump it all and redecorate the entire house. Whats brought on this discontentment ? Simple really, I want change, only what I really want is a change in what my own personal direction is, not the house, not the way the furniture looks.... its just that those things, the externals, those are pretty easy to change in comparison to changing habits that are holding me back. What am I talking about ? My own weight. My slipping in working out, the things I want to have in control, but don't and they simply are not easy to change. I don't even like to look at them honestly. I want to be 134 lbs, a healthy weight for me. I want to run, and run fast. Neither are my present reality.

Its not this way for everyone, this reason for wanting to change furniture or reason to shop or redecorate, but for me right now, this is the root of it all. Buying new furniture or curtains would ease my discontentment for a while, but it would not take care of the root of the issue for me. I would soon be wanting to cut my hair, buy some new clothes or something else, hoping to push down the feeling that things need to change within me.

This journey of self discovery is not always a fun walk. Sometimes the view is almost too clear, showing me the hard path is the one I need to take.