A Slave to Our Things

Most of us complain about how much work it is to run a house and search and search for some magical formula to make it all work. We try system after system to organize all our things. The funny part is, there is a simple solution that requires no fancy system.... just stop being a slave to all the things we want to own.
Think about it, having a few well chosen "pretties" around the home would give you pleasure. Enjoyment at seeing them, but when there becomes many "pretties" around the house, we worry about dusting them, moving them, owning them, getting the next one that comes out, or seeing one prettier than what we have and soon they start to own us with the time and energy they require of us in one way or another. Even with furniture, we can have so many extra pieces that serve as eye candy only but require moving to clean behind, dusting and arranging a pretty setting on top, maybe even changing the setting for each season and holiday, which requires packing up and storing when the season or holiday is over.
Then look at the hobbies we might have, they require supplies and there is always something new and better to buy. All to often we end up storing an unfinished project or making more than we really need. More care and cleaning for us. I am not an advocate of a stripped down, naked house, but I also know first hand the joy of not having too much stuff around. Just today when washing my floors I took a serious look at what I really need in the living room. Do I need all the furniture we have, yes, I do. Do I need all the fancy little decorations....absolutely not. I love baskets so have about 8 in the living room here and there. I hardly notice the ones stored on the top shelves. The look nice, but they get dusty and I tend to avoid the work of dusting under them. After a while, they just don't hold the same thrill I got when I purchased them.
Does the top of the shelves look just as nice without them. Honestly, yes they do. The house takes on a more simplistic appeal with less around.
Same thing for children's toys. We had strict strict guidelines for toys. They had to be non-mechanical, no batteries and foster creativity. Each child had a shelf to store them on and a basket. Too many toys, meant time to weed out the ones no longer played with. It was far better to not have children overwhelmed with so many toys they felt hopeless when you ask them to pick them up.
Don't live in a house that is bigger than you need. That's pretty simple. Probably don't need 5 bathrooms for 2 people, that sort of thing.
Now onto the laundry thing. What do you wear in a week ? Do you really need a room for your clothes ? That's a lot of work to maintain. A well chosen wardrobe can be minimal if you choose carefully. Do you children need 13 pairs of jeans, doubtful. That can translate to a lot of washing since they can change a couple times a day ! I loved that when my family was growing up, we had a simple wardrobe. NEVER EVER could there be more than 8 loads of wash at our house, because we didn't own more than that. Everyone had two sets of sheets for their bed, that's all I have now. I have one tiny linen cabinet for towels. Everyone had about a weeks worth of undergarments and two pair of pajama's, and the girls and I had 5 everyday dresses and 2 church dresses. A weeks worth of socks. The boys and Emery had 7 shirts and 5 pair of pants. I washed at twice a week. No one ran out of clothing ever. And never was there mounds and mounds of laundry to wash, iron and put away. Now I have way too many pieces of clothing. Shirts and skirts, pants and more shoes than I can wear before one of them has to be dusted. I miss the simple one piece dress hanging in the closet. It was so easy.
It's not the work that drives us crazy, its how much we own that requires us to take care of.
Think of it this way. You go to work each day only to find the boss has taken on more and more projects for you each and every day. You begin to feel swamped and find it hard to get anything done since it seems hopeless. You feel overwhelmed.... now imagine you are the boss and have been doing that to yourself ! Doesn't make sense. People seek therapy for taking on more than they can handle, but we as homemakers have missed the real issue. We are making our work harder than we should, we keep adding and adding to our work in the accumulation of stuff and things we really don't need. We are slaves to our wants, slave to our things and we are the only ones that can change that for ourselves. Think simplicity, think of need vs want when you head out to the store or shop on line. Something to consider perhaps. I really need to listen to myself and get back to where I once was, before I started thinking I needed things that were not needs at all.


Picture of half our living room today after I washed the floors

Comments

Lisa said…
It's ironic that you wrote about stuff today since I have been dealing with this very topic the last few days. Just last night, I tore the dust ruffle off my bed. I also removed three shams with pillows in them. I was tired of the bedskirt collecting dust from the wood floor, tired of the whole cluttered bed look and feeling a strong need to purge and simplify. I have nothing under my bed so all you see is empty wood floor. Such a spare, pleasant thing to see. My sons have been really struggling to maintain their room. One day, my then 8 year old said to me, "Well, you're the one that bought all this stuff!" Actually, grandparents and relatives have bought most of it. But, I understood his frustration at having too much stuff. Their room is also on my agenda this week. Thanks for spurring me on in my quest to eliminate!
Mimi said…
you have also made me think... I have way too much dust collecting stuff in my living room... I am going to begin to purge tomorrow...
thanks,
Mimi
sulli said…
Hear Hear! I so totally echo what lisa said. I also have been feeling that need to "purge and simplify" My first problem is that I have no idea where to start. ( I have been working on my closet)
Patty said…
Sulli, I would begin where the work is the most tedious for you. If laundry bogs you down, go for the clothing. If its dusting or toys, start there.
Mrs. Darling said…
Good post! You and I were seperated at birth!
tlawwife said…
Thanks for visiting my blog and for having your husband vote.

I couldn't agree with you more. It seems if I didn't have such a big house I wouldn't have to work so much. Although I do love my house.
BarbaraG said…
Thinking about owning a lot of "stuff" I thought I would mention a very interesting book called "Material World: A Global Family Portrait by Peter Menzel
This is a beautiful picture book with photos that were taken of different families all over the earth, each one representing a country. Each photo has a family standing in front of their typical home and everything they own spread out around them. It's quite stunning, and a real inspiration to stop trying to acquire more and more things.
Jan said…
I am slowly, slowly removing excess. I have a 4 bedroom, two bath house that is far two big for two old folks. It served 6 kids and several foster kids well but now we are trying to sell so we can downsize. I am not a collector or decorator so that helps but still we have too much stuff. And my fabric stash, yikes. April school vacation will bring a 50 cent, a dollar a yard fabric blowout so I can move some out. Beautiful fabric, great for someone else to have. I have been working setting up my dollmaking sewing room and that has helped.
Thanks for a timely post. Jan
Cindi said…
Cleaning out the closets and purging clothes has been something I have been wanting to do. Maybe this will inspire me. I struggle with the desire to have a bigger house. We live in the same size house I grew up in. We have 5 people living here (four at the moment since one is at college.) I grew up with 15 in this size house. Growing up we had one bathroom, we survived. When people find out our family now only has one bathroom they are amazed. Five people to one bath is a problem? They should have tried sharing the one bathroom growing up with three to six teenage girls at a time!
Arden said…
Clothing! What a nightmare clothing makes for me. I get inundated with hand me downs. I will have garbage bags full thrown in my van when we are at church. It's nice but it creates a lot of stress. For some reason, if it was given to me I have a hard time getting rid of it. There will be 10 of us in this house, with no attic or basement for storage. It is easy to get buried in clothing.
When I change over seasons in April, I'm going to bite the bullet and give what we can't use to the thrift shop. It would be such a relief.
Patty said…
Hi Cindi,
I can relate to the bathroom issue. Growing up we had one bathroom for 3 children, my grandmother and my parents. We had a system.
When we moved into this house there was one bathroom, 6 of us and one of my husbands family remarked they needed to stay in a hotel rather than with us as we just had the one bathroom. This came from a man who grew up with an outhouse ! We now have two bathrooms and one goes mostly unused
Renee said…
Your post has definitely gotten me thinking! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad you enjoy the book reviews.
Vicki R. said…
Hubbs & I have one small boy at the moment & we purposely bought a MUCH smaller home than we were used to living in. Only 1200 sq. ft., 3 bdrms just big enough for a bed, a dresser & a bookcase, 2 very teeny tiny bathrooms - really only 2 people can squeeze in at at time - a nice galley kitchen, small breakfast nook, a decent living room & a family room with a fire place.

The biggest selling point (I was a little wary of how small the bathrooms were) was the size of our backyard. No, it's not acres & acres, but for being in town, it's large enough for our son to explore, have a plot of ground to grow his own garden someday, kick a soccer ball around with friends, even climb a tree if he wants. I have no pressing need to take him to the park every day so he can run around - just let him out the back door.

Though it continues to be a challenge to find a "place" for our "stuff" - & yes I have a continuous pile in the garage of donation bags...I am so thankful we decided on a smaller home with larger land. In our previous home of 2200 sqft, 4 bths & 3 baths, it would take me all week to get the house cleaned - then I'd have to start all over!! Now, I can get my entire house cleaned in 2 days - without breaking a sweat. We enjoy our weekends to the fullest because we're not having to tackle all the cleaning & upkeep. We "have" to spend time outdoors to maintain our yards & garden areas.

It may not be a working farm & we may not have wood floors (yet) but it's the biggest piece of Paradise I've ever felt thankful to come home to.

I am in a constant "struggle" of sorts with all the crafy things that most definitely take up too much space in this smaller home, as well as taking too much of my precious time these days, chasing after the little one & planning for the next tyke to come along. I love doing them when I have the time & energy, but for now, they really are just a burden.

I'm inspired to continue downsizing (especially the toys - YIKES), to keep the TV OFF, the music flowing & allow my boy to get his nails as dirty as he'd like!

Thx for such a great blog! I love your gift cards as well!!
Patty said…
Hi Barbara,
I have read that book. Amazing to me how much space we think we need to live in compared to the rest of the world.
Lisa said…
I saw "Material World" at Amazon the other day and was very intrigued. I will have to see if it is at the library. I am getting to a point where much of what is in my home came from family members....a churn my grandpa built, quilts my grandma made. It's harder for me to eliminate these family items than things from the store but too much is still too much. Mentally, clutter affects me as my brain gets clogged from too much stuff!
Carole said…
This post hit home once again. Today the decluttering was about the girls' clothes. Oh my do we have a lot of them !!!!! We get them from friends, their nanny, the cleaning woman at their school. The more bags I donate, the more they turn up !! I've been in a slow and steady process of decluttering for... 6 months now ? and it feels so good to let go of useless stuff, and bless others with all that's still in good condition. Next week I'll be on a two-week vacation, and I definitely plan to keep on decluttering some more !

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