Thoughts from the day

This past weekend I spent on the trail, hiking and thinking. The land, emerald green, lush and refreshed after a few years of drought. The rivers wild and rippling madly with white waves over the rocks that were hot and dry for so long. Tiny brooks and creeks in places that had not seen water in such a long time. So many hiking trails unavailable due to high water dangers. Plants that I have never seen before were all along the trails. It appeared as if the very ground had been baptized and bloomed anew with grace and beauty. I too felt refreshed as I waded through a small river, and sat beside so many different spots loud with rushing water.
I needed this time apart from the ordinary. I needed time to reconnect with the simple and the why of our simple life. The "how" of it seems so inconsequential. But the "why" of it, well that has been so buried under layers of life's happenings that I forgot what it looks like.
People can tell you how to clean, how to quilt, how to knit, how to make candles, how to grow your own food, how to spend less on food and all that stuff, but the "how" of it, never provides the motivation or the love for doing so.
I know why we home schooled in the beginning, and it had nothing to do with religion, just simply to maintain a love of learning and remove the shame of getting an answer wrong. First time your classmates laugh and giggle at a wrong answer from you, you then make an effort NOT to raise your hand so quickly. But somewhere along the way, religion entered into it, simply because we wanted to raise up godly children and that is the biggest part of any education if its your goal.
I know why we live a life different from others in this fast paced world. I read mother earth news for years as a teenager and it formed my goals. I wanted to be old fashioned, simple living and self sufficient. I had my stint in yuppyville and hated every single minute of it. So first chance we had to, Emery and I got out of it and headed for the simple life. Somewhere along the way, it became a part of our spiritual life. Simplicity as a manifestation of trying to live a life like Jesus spoke about. Things he tells us in Matthew 6: 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
That is powerful in a world where shopping is the greatest past time and collecting is an expected activity.
So many things in life start out one way and end up changing and blossoming. Our life has been that way. So here I sit, today, knowing without a doubt that God is who He says He is, even though its not always cool to believe that way. Knowing without a doubt that He is hearing my prayers, smiling at my constant questioning, never impatient with me. Knowing that I don't have to know the how's and whys of it all. I have to rest in the fact that I may never understand it all. That will take some effort for me. I simply want to know what is the right way and it seems there are about a zillion "right ways" out there.
I don't mind asking the questions that so many are afraid to ask openly, so many are afraid it's rebellion or disbelief or some other label folks have attached to spiritual questionings. I know God understands my motives. He knows me better than anyone does. He knows my heart.
Life is a journey, not a standing still point. I do know I feel refreshed, renewed and my faith is stronger.
The rain that has fallen in due season, only a bit more than anyone expected, has also fallen on this dry and parched heart. Even today, on this difficult day with our precious grand baby sick in the hospital, I can feel the loving arms of God around me. I slept for a bit this afternoon on the sofa, exhausted feeling, spent emotionally with worry, but in my dream there was a conversation about the "Land of Milk and Honey" and in this brief dream I explained to someone that not only did this mean there was milk and honey, but that there was land for pasture, animals grazing and trees and flowers to allow bees to live and flourish and provide honey. When I woke, I thought about this dream and how in life we are provided such blessings but always they are born from other blessings and give birth to more blessings.
In the mail today, a set of dollhouse dolls for grand-daughters to some day play with
and a gladiola blooming in the flower beds that line the driveway.
Texas is so good for gardening, with a bit of help from the rich compost that comes from our compost piles and some hard work.


Gullebarn said…
Thanks Patty. Just thank you. This post meant a lot to me with all I am going thru lately.

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