Grateful for Life

I am watching the television. They are talking about what happened at Virginia Tech. Such profound sadness, hurt, pain and I am sure anger at what just doesn't seem fair.
Tonight I feel especially blessed to have all my children safe and well, alive.
I have no idea why things like this shooting happen. Why God allows innocent people to perish at the hands of insanity. I have no answers. Yes, I know all the answers given in times like this. The standard things said by ministers, priests, rabbi's, clerics, chaplain's and then by well meaning people who have never lost someone to senseless tragedy. Yes, we have all heard that "we don't understand the ways of God" etc, and that about sums it up. It is a truth. We have no idea why.
I have no idea why some people are sick and some are not. I have no idea why some innocent children must live in cardboard boxes. I know all the answers you are thinking of now, but they are answers we are taught to believe, to say, but do we understand the how and why of things any better by saying them ? No. We just simply feel like there has to be some reason, so say what we have heard others tell us and think that gives some understanding to it all.

I am ever so thankful tonight that I can say goodnight to all my children, to my husband, to my father, to my sisters , to my best friend who is visiting. To many of my cousins and Aunt by email. I am so thankful they are all alive and well.
I am so thankful that breath is still in my own body.
I have no idea why I can say this tonight and someone else can't.

Tonight as I think of the days events in my own family, with Melanie and Mei-Ling, I am more convinced than ever that God is a merciful God to us, but.... I still don't understand why things like Virginia Tech happen to so many really good people who just simply do not deserve to suffer such pain. The reality is, its alright to not understand everything. It makes us human and God so much more than human. Deut 29:29 is my answer for the hard things in life. I am o.k. with not knowing, at least I feel that way tonight.
I frankly don't have God figured out, but if I did, then I would be much more than just a plain old human with limited understanding of something much bigger than myself. I can however in my limited understanding, trust that He knows what he is doing or allowing, at least most of the time.
There have been times I have questioned if He knew what He was doing.
You see, we don't need to understand God, we just have to have faith in Him. Hard to do that always, especially if you are the kind that wants proof or certainties or logic or reason.

I am grateful tonight for all that really matters. Its not the big or small house, the new car or the old car, the dryer or the clothesline, the long skirt or the slacks, the King James version or the New International Version. Simple life or the not so simple life. It's not the amount of linens you own or the size of the fabric stash, its not the pretty blog or the boringly plain blog, its not having 500 hits a day or 50 hits on your blog a day. Its not any of that. It's about having family and friends, healthy and loving. It's having faith... the simple faith of a child, the kind that feels like when Dad is home everything will be alright. I always felt that way as a child. My dad could do anything and handle anything. My girls felt that way about their dad growing up too. Its a good object lesson for how we feel about God as a Father.
What matters is knowing that whatever happens, God will somehow help you through it, even if you don't feel Him there right at first. Even after you shake your fist at Him in anger. Knowing He will still be at the helm, in control even in an out of control world.

Its hard for me to chat about the silly things today, and yes in the big scheme of things , just about every thing besides life and faith seems a bit silly to write about, in the face of such loss of life in a quiet college. I know war goes on daily with so many people dying, and nuts go on shooting rampages, hurting so many lives. Its all hard and painful. Not one more than another really.
But today, a new recipe seems insignificant and so doesn't pretty baby clothes. Tonight I am reminded, its the baby's life that counts , not the pink outfit. Sure I know all these little things make life more fun, but just tonight, this one night, put aside the thoughts of the little things in life and be truly grateful for LIFE itself. Life is HUGE. Nothing little or insignificant about it to any other living person.
What really counts, is knowing your family is safe tonight.
Call your children, if they are grown, even if you are at odds with them. Swallow any pride or self righteousness, if you have some grudge against a family member and be thankful for the very breath that enters the body of that loved one and tell them so.
Oh life is indeed short and something to be cherished, along with faith and hope.

I am having trouble loading a photo, so gave up the idea and am leaving this just as it is.
Time now for bed !

Comments

Dannielle said…
You know, I don't believe tragedy originates with God. Although there is nothing that God cannot use for good.

God allows tragedy to occur because He gave us free will. I can't help but think that if all of humanity submitted to and lived according to God's will that there would be no tragedy.

Perhaps this is not completely true. Perhaps there would still be horrific storms and earthquakes and such. But I do wonder if things that we call "acts of God" are ultimately a product of sin and humankind's rebellion.

I pray that those personally affected by this tragedy turn their hurting hearts to God and are open to receiving His comforting love.
R. Aastrup said…
I agree with Dannielle. It's not God's will or God's plan or God's way. It's sin and the results of sinful choices. As C.S. Lewis says in "Mere Christianity," it is our God-given free will that leaves us free to be good or bad and allows for human behavior to be incredibly good and incredibly bad. Monday was one of those incredibly bad days. For me, it points up the necessity of being ready every single day, of being right in your own relationship with God...because you just never know...
Patty said…
tis true that we live in a sinful world, however, God certainly is strong enough, miraculous enough to prevent horror. I have many times been led to feel to go a different road on the way somewhere only to find that there was a bad accident on the road I had first intended.
I wrote about God ALLOWING such horror, when He is so mighty and CAN change the where and how of such tragic events.
That is the part that no one understands.
smilnsigh said…
Such 'why's' are one of the reasons I am glad to not have a personal God. When random 'bad luck' happens, I have no one to blame. No one to expect miracles from. Etc.

For me.... Yes, there was probably a Creator. But this Creator 'banged the big bang' and left it all alone.

Mari-Nanci
R. Aastrup said…
True enough, Patty. And there were several students who didn't end up in those classrooms Monday morning because they just "happened" to sleep through their alarm, or any number of other reasons.
Sunny said…
"At the hands of insanity" pretty well sums it up. Except of course, I agree with you that while "we don't understand the ways of God" we certainly understand what is NOT God's way-and that would be this trajedy.

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