Thursday, July 10, 2008
Thinking. . .
This morning I laid in bed just thinking about things. Working out some things in my mind about my last few posts. Money has always proved to me to be a bothersome thing. I have never wanted to be rich, but money seems to come my way.
As I was thinking, thinking about what having money does to folks, I just kept thinking this one thought. I really really like my children. Like who they have become as adults. They are hard working, good people, level headed, compassionate, open and honest and we have a very close bond with our children...all the things we set out to develop in them. We did the things we knew to do in their growing years that would foster this type of character. Farm chores, dealing with animals, having them provide care and training for animals. The children had household chores and responsibilities too. We didn't just give them things, simply because they wanted them. We weighed out the value of the item on many levels. We kept our children close to us, did things with them. We gave them opportunities to shine and celebrated victories and comforted them in the times when things didn't turn out the way they wanted. We kept them busy, homeschooled them so they would know the things we valued and learn how to learn on their own, to find answers, to explore knowledge and discern truth from fiction. We taught them most of all that having lots of money is not needed to be happy, that simple living is worth its weight in gold. That making due and learning the fine art of inventing what you need is priceless. O.K., you might see where my thinking is taking me. The very things I valued for my children, the very reason we wanted to FLEE the yuppie life of southern California, is really what I hold dearest. So, I took down my vision board this morning, realizing, I have what I want already. I don't want more things or finer things. I want to have a free mind that delights in morning walks with my camera, not worrying about how my clothes, hair and nails look. I want to sit and spin wool by the hour, not shop for new counter tops. I want to play domino's with Emery by kerosene lamplight, instead of dreaming of ways to spend more money. We have plenty, don't need more. The more money you have, the more you want to spend and spending money is just not what I like to do. I hate the pressure I feel because folks expect us to live differently than we do, live higher on the hog as they say.
So, today....starting right now....I am going to work on reclaiming my simple life, its so peaceful. I am going to not think about what improvements we should make on the house. Well, I still want my kitchen window and our bedroom finished. I am going to NOT use the Law of Attraction for more money. I want to attract the thing I love the most, quiet simplicity of living humbly. One thing I know for certain, that we would never have the children we have, if we had lived any different than we did. We made a good choice then and I want to stick with it now. Guess, I can honestly say, its just not in my heart to be money wealthy. I want my wealth to be in the things that cannot be taken from you or rust and decay. Now, to be sure, we have always enjoyed having money enough to pay the bills and buy what we need, and that can just stay as it is, and we want to plan for our later years, but I just am weary of trying to think about being rich !
It is a silent sort of morning, sitting next to the wood stove in my rocker, watching the birds outside my windo...