The phrase "finding myself"

Probably more than a few of us snicker at the old phrase, "finding myself", it seems a bit, oh I don't know, trite, fluffy, silly, serious, elusive and perhaps most accurately a bit of all those things. Most often that phrase is associated with young people searching for their own identity outside of who their parents hoped, planned and struggled to make them. But in a way, you go through a bit of that search when your children are grown and you are not as much "mother" as you were before. Suddenly you are you again, needing to be defined a bit more clearly. Actually I think it happens to most women in their 50's in some way shape or form, even if they never had children. We want to mesh this wonderful amazing feeling of "arriving" with what is important to us when we reach that 5th decade of life. For me, I finally had the time to think, to really seriously think about life. Become a bit of a philosopher.
Its coming together for me, the pieces, having been laid out clearly are taking shape, some are tossed aside, no longer holding value, or maybe discovered to be simply childhood truths that no longer serve me and other things, new, exciting, things that make me want to skip or jump with that childlike enthusiasm that I love to embrace. Even on the spiritual end of things I suddenly feel like things are fitting...the conclusion is that my spiritual walk is not the department store variety, but custom made, made to fit my heart, my deepest beliefs and what I know now, works. The way I live, same thing. I know for sure now that this life is more to do with love and relationships than chasing after things. Life is all about balance. Having spiritual peace, having good health, having what things you need and some that you love, the kind of things that inspire us. James Ray calls these things "The 5 Pillars of Harmonic Wealth" he says they are
Financial
Relational
Mental (including intellect and emotions)
Physical
Spiritual
I agree with him...my 53 years has given me some experience in life, and yes, we need them all. If one is out of whack. then nothing else seems to work right. I am not one for seeking millions, but I do like that we have financial security, the money we need to do the things we want. Its much better than when we were newly weds and money was so tight that it really made life hard. Sure we grew from those experiences, but now, I don't need those experiences !
If you are struggling with emotional issues, you know that too can rule how you act even when its not how you want to act. Same for the health part of things, if your health is bad, it can limit you, cause you to act differently than perhaps you would like to.
I am well aware of all the phrases folks use to define themselves, wife, mother, daughter, child of God, job title etc but those are more the label, I think we need to examine the ingredients a bit and that's what I have been doing.
So here I am, in this stage of life, searching for who I am...and slowly, like the unfolding of a bud, I am learning who I am and its a pretty nice feeling. Finding myself and liking myself.

just some shadows !