Why Do We Do That ?

Not long ago I was talking to someone we know that has recently left the plain church. We saw them at the store, modestly dressed. Long sleeves, long dress, up to the neck. Her long hair uncovered but not a one of us is saved for how we are dressed. She was sad. A neighbor of theirs, a convert to the plain way of life, won't speak to her anymore now that she doesn't wear a covering etc. I kept thinking about this neighbor. When I first met her, she didn't dress plain or wear a covering. Does she forget that people that did cover and dress plain, spoke to her lovingly even though she was dressed like she was at that time? Much like the woman I know that has a 20 year old, been married 18 years and condemns every single unwed mother there is, with out a drop of compassion in her words. She forgot too, that she was there once also. When we become "reformed" we tend to get a bit high and mighty. A big judgemental, forgetting that it is almost always a kind loving word, the compassion of another that helps us on our journey, not finger pointing and judgemental attitudes.

I think we are all guilty at some time in our life of being one of those "reformed ones" that forgets what has helped us get where we are now on the positive side of things, compared to where we were when we may have felt lost and confused or stuck in some place. It's never the finger pointing of another that gives us hope.

Recently I heard someone lambasting others for not eating healthy, no excuse. Sorta in a Gillian McKeith fashion (You Are What You Eat). Lots of young mothers left feeling like failures from that kind of statement. Maybe they can't do it financially. When you are raising a family, often times you are counting pennies. Pennies don't buy lots of fresh fruits and veggies. I remember those days and its hard. And then maybe they simply just don't know how. Reformers that have forgotten compassion send people scurrying in the opposite direction more often than not. Far better to just teach economic ways of cooking, make a weeks healthy meals for under $100 for a family of 4 and share how it can be done. Do it without any condemnation. We so often forget as older ladies that it has taken us decades to learn things that work and expect that you can instantly put a wise head on a young body. We didn't know it all at 30. We might think we did ! Lead gently as Jesus does, rather than pound them on the head with a truth stick the size of a 2x4. This goes for so many aspects of life. Even within simple homestead living and there I have been guilty too of being a reformer forgetting that not everyone can just walk away from the modern life for lots of reasons. For this I apologize. Zeal can turn into something not so compassionate at times. Not everyone can go without a clothes dryer, central heat and air, make soap, etc. Might be health, might be as simple as not able to let go of the life they have now or simply they don't want to. They might just be afraid they can't do it too. Nothing wrong with any of those reasons.

Homeschoolers that send their children back to school get the finger pointed at them from others that may have done the same thing at one point in time.

Why do we do that to one another ? There are jokes about reformed smokers being totally obnoxious to people that smoke. They forget. We all tend to forget where we were in life at one time.

I suspect the success rate of those coming back after their rumspringer in the Amish world is because there isn't a lot of finger pointing from those that had been there, done that. The "reformed" remember and have compassion. If there was a lot of that sort of thing, coming back would not be very appealing.

Same for that first example I gave regarding plain dressing. Our example in life, should be so pure that people are drawn to us without a sermon and we don't have to point fingers to distinguish any differences or hammer our truths. That sort of thing usually sends folks running in the opposite direction and we haven't accomplished anything positive at all.

I feel deeply that we need a revival....a revival of compassion. We don't need more doctrine, doctrine has done more to divide than to bring together. We need more of that love in our hearts that Jesus spoke about. The kind that lets us see that we all want to be happy, we all want to feel whole and we all want to be treated with dignity.

Our job in life, be kind....God can handle the rest.

2 Timothy 2:24 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.