In The Stillness of the morning, a ramble

It's not quite full light yet, the sun is just coming up over the horizion. Its the time of the morning where it almost looks like a rainy day, there is a grayness before the golden sun arrives for this new day. Already Emery is at work cutting down a tree that is dead. He will come in for breakfast in an hour or so. There are toys scattered all over my living room. It seems strange but good. It has been so many years since toys hid under the couch and on top of tables, or stuck between the cushions.

Mei-Ling is still sleeping. She played hard yesterday. I feel a bit greedy this morning, wishing Steven and Priscilla lived just down the road too, so I could see Elizabeth as much as I see Mei-Ling. I can so easily imagine tea parties with two wee girls sitting about the table with extra chairs for stuffed teddy bears and dolls. Grammie serving tea and tiny cakes all decorated with pink frosting. I hope for many many grandchildren, wondering if I have told my children enough times that a person never regrets having children, but often regrets not having more of them. I have that regret. I wish we had had a dozen children. After Melanie was born, I listened to all the rhetoric from family and had my tubes tied, I knew instantly it was a mistake. A miracle happened and I was able to have a reversal at no cost to us at all. But, there were no more babies born to us, just several miscarriages. I kept praying and having faith up until I was late in my 40's. For a while, while hoping and praying for more babies, I kept count of the times I had heard women complain about being pregnant again. How could they complain !

God heard my prayers though, just not in the way I had planned. We adopted Steven and his brother. What a blessing Steven is to us. His brother was a wounded child, unreachable.

And now, babies in my life, second generation. The fun without the work ! Blessings beyond what I could have ever imagined. My grandmothers uncle had 22 children. All well loved. I have never counted his grandchildren. But I am sure it was many.

The sun is up now so time to head out to the barn. The goats are waiting for their breakfast.