Are We Less Able to Cope ?

Last night I was reading a book about how it seems as though prosperity sort of insulates us from many of life's difficulties, which is a good thing in many ways, but what it also does is lessen our ability to accept hard things in our lives to cope with whats really hard. Think about it, we read stories from the pioneers and think to ourselves, "they had such strength to endure such hardships" and might even comment that " I would have never made it". I watched those PBS specials where families lived as they did in the past, and the inability to cope with the difficulties of that time period was nothing less than shocking. In the book I was reading, it mentioned that in India for example, hunger, sickness and death are seen daily by many. Its not that they are hardened to it, they simply view it as an aspect of life that you accept. There are reasons perhaps for it, but it still is what it is, reason or no reason. Here in the Western world, we get angry and seek to blame anyone around us, including ourselves if we get sick or someone we love dies. In the poorer countries, the elderly or infirmed are not marginalized, and taken off to a nursing home, they are cared for at home, with the entire family to see. The children learn to understand that no, life is not fair, simple or always easy. In our attempt to remove as much of the suffering that is just a part of life, we also have removed the ability to cope with what we cannot remove from our lives that involves suffering and hardship. So many of lifes hardships shake our faith, and make it difficult to accept that things that are unfair do happen in life.

one paragraph I read states..."There's no doubt that with growing technology, the general level of physical comfort has improved for many in Western society. It is at this point that a critical shift in perception takes place; as suffering becomes less visible, it is no longer seen as part of the fundamental nature of human beings -- but rather as a anomaly, a sign that something has gone terribly wrong, a sign of "failure" of some system, an infringement on our guaranteed right to happiness!

This kind of thinking poses hidden dangers. If we think of suffering as something unnatural, something that we shouldn't be experiencing, then its not much of a leap to begin to look for someone to blame for our suffering. If I'm unhappy, then I must be a "victim" of someone or something--an idea that is all too common in the West. The victimizer may be the government, the educational system, abusive parents, a "dysfunctional family", the other gender, or an our uncaring mate. Or we may turn blame inward: there's something wrong with me, I'm the victim of disease, of defective genes perhaps. But the risk of continuing to focus on assigning blame and maintaining a victim stance, is the perpetuation of our suffering--with persistent feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment."

Have we lost something in our prosperity ? Perhaps so. I was always a bit surprised by how accepting the plain world is regarding sickness, hard times and death. They don't seek to blame when something goes horribly wrong, they just deal with it. It is part of life. There is a level of strength not often seen in most of us. They have not removed all the evidence of the suffering in life from their daily existence. They seem to be able to cope better. I watch Emery, he had such a hard life as a child, his life was much like Little House on The Prairie, but without the fun part. From this, he is filled with an inner strength that is so admirable. He can cope with just about anything.

I am going to leave you with something Emery shared with me yesterday.... a letter written by Cyrus Kutz Holliday to his wife Mary who was in another state, while he was preparing a place for them in Kansas. The letters can be viewed on line at http://www.kancoll.org/khq/1937/37_3_barnes.htm

"We are again having cold weather. I think day before yesterday was the most stormy day we have had. The snow was about six inches deep. For two or three days it had been snowing gradually; and on Friday afternoon it came down with great force. At noon I left my house and returned to it after supper in the evening. I found the snow everywhere throughout my house. I measured it on a board and found it three inches deep inside. My bed was also covered with snow three inches deep and I took my washbowl and with a sweep or two of the hand piled it heaping full and thawed it, or melted it for wash water in the morning, having to economize as I have to carry my water one mile."

Snow in the house is really no big deal, but could we cope ? Would your children be able to cope ?

How do we find balance when we have set the scales heavy in one direction ?

The photo is of the town next to us, which is the county seat, taken at the end of the 19th century, Market day....could we cope with the smell from all those horses, the heat in summer, and all that went along with it ?