Leaving Children Unattended to Play

I have a poll on the side bar where you can vote about what age you think it appropriate for a child to be outside playing alone. Even though you are checking out the window or door often. A child outside without you right there with them is considered being left outside alone and I mean alone, not with a sibling etc or even the family dog.
When my children were young, they never outside without Emery or me being right with them until they were probably 5 or 6 and that would have been when they were in our fenced in back yard. They were probably 7 or 8 before we allowed them out front to play without us sitting out there with them, and at that we were checking on them every couple minutes.
What are your thoughts on this ? Within the Mennonite church we know several families that allow children under 2 years of age to be outside by themselves, it seems to rather common actually. I would be so afraid, there are things like snakes, spiders, wild dogs, strangers, bodies of water, wandering off to the road and so much more. Please, share your thoughts with me on the subject.
I just checked and in Texas, the law uses a round about guideline of school age for a child to be allowed to play outside by themselves. Anything younger and you run the risk of being charged with endangerment of a child and here in Texas, that can put you behind bars for a long spell of time.

Just thought I would add something here, a p.s. of sorts. Unless my land was totally fenced off with gates and had a good watch dog, nice neighbors etc, not sure my kiddos would ever get to play outside alone now a days. Melanie and Casi won't let Mei-Ling out of their sight for a second !

Comments

Anonymous said…
I voted 6-8 but I really think it depends on what your area and more specifically your yard is like and how it is set up. Depending on your neighborhood and ease of access to your yard I could easily say never leave them alone.
Leanne said…
Hi
Well I have always been a mother hen - and had kids with me, even took them out to clothes line with me to hang out washing wouldn't leave them inside on own.

Saying that this week I let two nearly 13yob be at the pools on their own - well I sat in the car outside & read my book looking at the beach.

Love Leanne
ps I guess you are not moving??
Unknown said…
Hi Patty,

My sons are 3 and 5 (birthdays in August so they're more like 4 and 6) and they play outside of our apartment in a park that's about 30 yards or so across the lawn. Our apartment faces inward so we are away from the street and it's really more like a "back yard." They're within eyesight at all times from our apartment and we leave the front door open.

However, the younger boy may not go out without his brother.

At my sister's house they play in the front yard, and they've been taught to book it back to the house if any cars pull into the driveway that they dont recognize or if any people show up. They dont go any farther than we can see them.
Marianna said…
My son was playing alone outside for short periods of time when he was just over two...in a fully fenced, typical suburban backyard and only when I could have the door open to hear him. My daughter was closer to six, mainly because we had moved to a house without a fenced yard and woods behind us. Playing out front alone for both was about seven. Although, I won't let my daughter (who just turned seven) out alone in our current front yard at certain times of the day because of the traffic generated by the park across the street. All this to say that I really think it depends on the situation...

My current dilemna is how much freedom to give my almost 10 year old son with regards to walking alone to friends houses and playing in the park.
Dana and Daisy said…
I said 6-8 alos, but like the Zaine, I think even this is dependent on the environment. And even then, the parent should be able to view the child, I think. I had a working mom and we stayed home alone at this age, which just seems insane to me now as an adult. I had two slightly older brothers, but now, as an adult, I can see my parents were not making wise choices. I know we did things we should not have done and no adult would have allowed. Yet, I think there is value in allowing a child to play alone and experience the outdoors one to one. I can remember sitting in grass and counting roly-polys and all kids of things when I was alone outside. But then by the time I was 10 or so I was able to get into trouble and did things like climbed onto the roof of the house. So... I think adult supervision is really always necessary, but in increasing doses of responsibility for oneself. Otherwise will we raise young people who are afraid to be alone or unable to self-care in numerous ways?

It is a sticky question for sure.
Granny said…
In these days, I wouldn't leave a child alone up until they were 10 or 12 . . especially a girl. If there are several of them out together and they knew to immediately get an adult if something strange happened, maybe I'd leave them out at 8 or 9. These days, I just don't think any neighborhood can be considered truly safe. Sad to say!
Val said…
I just told my daughter this week that this is so sad to say but you cannot trust anyone today. I would not let my grandchildren out of my sight. When I was young we stayed outside all day and never gave it a thought but not today.
Lib said…
Hi Patty,
I am back to blogging again, after taking a long break.
I've always been a Mother Hen , and never let the kids go out without one of us being with them.
We live in agood neighborhood ,but I think now days there's no safe place! Sad too!
Hope you have a great wk.end!
Blessins',Lib
han_ysic said…
I could never just say yes or no for an age, because it depends on so much, on the child's maturity, on the surroundings, on the physical aspects and the social aspects. We were playing outside at a young age, but always outside the kitchen window so mum had full view of us. And then probably unsupervised at 5-6. I think she trusted me a lot, and I was babysitting siblings by age 9 0r 10 including preparing dinner. I stayed with a family when on exchange where the 12 year old daughter had never been left home alone.
Margo in Maine said…
I am like a mother hen...I keep my grandkids and always have an eye on them...they are 10 1/2...granddaughter 13.....you hear so many horror stories and yet you cannot live in fear ....I do think it depends on the area you live in...I even keep an eye out for my husband...we live on a farm and accidents do happen...better safer than sorry....Maine
~Bren~ said…
I would vote 6-8 but then only in a fenced area where I could see them. Zach is going to be 8 and he is allowed out front if his almost 12 year old sister is out and the other neighborhood kids. My almost 12 year old daughter asked me yesterday if she could go out front and ride her bike. There was no one out and I told her no. Too protective? I don't think so.I have never left my daughter home alone and she will be 12 in June.
Kathy said…
I don't think in this day and age I would feel comfortable leaving my grandchildren unattended at any age considering what just happened to the little girl in California. Wasn't she like 8 or 9? My children played outside in a fenced in back yard but I had sliding doors and always left them open so I could hear if I had to walk away for a moment or two. Even when they were 10 to 12 and I couldn't locate them for a second or two I went into panic mode. But I was in my 30s when I had my three children so sometimes I believe that made me overprotective even more.
novascotiagal said…
I live on over two acres of woods on the end of a cul-de-sac. It would be way, way out of the way for a human predator to come looking for victims here. I try to keep in mind that we hear a lot more about horror stories, but in fact things are not happening more now then they did then... we are flooded with the stories that stoke our fear. The chances of someone making off with your child is very very small. Most abductions are from someone in the family - like the estranged spouse.

So my 7, 8, and 11 year old kids go up to the cul-de-sac and ride bikes, and I go up now and again to bring drinks and sidewalk chalk. Their friends come and join them. I force myself to put the scary stories aside and show confidence in my children - they know what to do in various circumstances. I want my kids to have the chance to build their sense of self-confidence. And I try to be realistic about the real danger versus my kids having a helicopter mom. In a different neighborhood on a different property, I'd do things a bit differently - it depends.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, believes predators are lurking behind every bush between here and California.
Katie Z. said…
My backyard is fenced off and I have quick access from my kitchen, so if I'm in the kitchen cooking, my 3-year-old might be allowed to play on the porch or patio, but usually, because that's DH's idea, I end up going out with her. My 1-year-old I don't leave anywhere - I too take them outside with me when I'm hanging laundry.
aimee said…
It would depend on whether you lived in the country or city, whether there were dangerous places nearby (like a lake, pool or busy road nearby), if it was a fenced yard or not, the child's maturity level, etc. Maybe -- 7 or 8?? But like I said it would depend on many factors and I'd still be watching.
In a private home, safe neighborhood, securely fenced backyard, no dangers ---possibly younger but so much has changed since when my kids were that age.
Anonymous said…
I'm in the 'never' camp unless I'm there with them. Like Leanne, I don't even leave my son alone in the house while I'm hanging out the washing. There are so many things that could happen (snakes, accidents etc).
Valerie said…
We just moved to Texas. At our old house my kids (6, 4, 2) were NOT allowed outside w/o me. I was very strict about that. The new house has a fenced in yard and is in a nicer neighborhood. I wouldn't say that I let them play by themselves, but I do let them head out while I finish putting dishes away, or gathering laundry... We have a dog and she is out there with them. I prefer to be outside with them. I think they are all still too young to be left alone.
Valerie said…
I wanted to add...
I get so frustrated when I take my kids to the park and there is a group of kids there - unsupervised - acting up. It ruins the experience for my kids. No matter how good you think your kids are, they are still kids. They need supervision. If you think you can trust them alone... give them a surprise visit and see how they act w/o you there. You might be surprised.
Your question was more about your own backyard though, right? So maybe this doesn't apply. It's just a huge pet peeve of mine.
I'll end my rant here. :)
I voted 6-8 BUT that certainly depends on each family's specific situation. We live in a semi-rual area, have a completely fenced yard/property, have a GREAT watch dog and my children have always had at least one sibling (usually older) out with them.

Prior to the children turning 5 or 6, they weren't allowed outside without me, daddy or a teenaged/adult sibling. For instance, the 7 or 8 year old was not expected to "watch" the 4 or 5 year old when playing outside.

However, if I had an only child, or an easily accessible yard, in my current neighborhood, I'd most likely have voted to never let a child out alone.

Interesting post.

Mrs.B
healinggreen said…
I have an almost 3 yr old and I would never let him go the park alone with his 5 yr old cousins. In fact, his older cousins are more likely to lead him into trouble than out of it.

That said, when we play in the yard he is all over the place, running anywhere and everywhere, and never stays with me. We have a medium sized dog, and she's pretty good defense, but not a herding dog of any sort (wouldn't that be nice!) I know he's always in the yard b/c its all fenced in and it's no where near the road or any other people except a 90 year old neighbor. We are right on a mountainside against 60 acres of nature preserve... So I can't always see him. I yell out for him every few minutes and make him come back within sight, but I wouldn't say I'm a mother hen. That's who he's usually chasing, lol! The chickens.

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