A New Day and Some Reflection

This morning I woke and heard the birds singing, and felt the breeze on my face as I went about my chores. I saw flowers in bloom and smelled their sweet fragrance. I took in a deep breath and realized that for the past couple days, I hardly felt like I was doing more than holding my breath.

Mei-Ling had pain and muscle spasms last night so they gave her morphine. Melanie sounded so worn and tired last night when I spoke to her on the phone before going to bed. I was thinking about our family through all this. Melissa finding it so hard to be so far away, we talk several times during the day. I am in deep appreciation of my cell phone and glad that last year we decided to get one. Our children have called numerous times each day, checking on the status of the baby or seeing if they could do something for Melanie and Casi. Steven and Priscilla have brought meals to Melanie and Casi, and slipped money in their hand for additional meals. Melissa as only a sister can do, has been a point of strength for Melanie. I love the way they talk to one another, the way they share a bond beyond words. Melissa is always so caring...I hear her say to me each day, "mom you sound tired, make sure you take care of yourself". I just love and miss her so much. A note from her arrived in the mail yesterday, so full of love. It was the balm for our weary souls.

On the way home from the hospital last night, Steven called to find out how things are going. I told him the news about what they discovered with Mei-Ling. His reply, "well she can adopt and you know I am all in favor of adoption, it sure worked out for me." He is our adopted son. Again balm for our weary souls. Love is profound.

Today a bit of normalcy. A trip to the post office, a few groceries to be purchased, maybe even a stop off at Goodwill to check out the bargains there. Then a trip to the hospital and I do so hope to see a smile on a tiny persons face.

If I know one thing for certain from all this, it is just this, that all the things and stuff in the world means nothing at a time of hardship like this, but the love and closeness of our family, the bond of love between us is more precious than gold. When the children were small, all the time and the commitment to raising up godly young people has paid off. The choices we made for our family,

to homeschool, to live simply on one income, even when others thought we were crazy for the way we chose, and even before all that, the choices we made as a young couple to seek God first in our lives, has made all the difference in how things have turned out for us. We are not perfect, far from it. I skipped the dusting and cleaning and strict schedules for time to hug and have long talks with the children. We taught the children the value of hard work, by working along side them. Which might have meant I spent the day clipping goat hooves instead of cooking a gourmet meal or spending time on creating a "well appointed home".

We skipped wanting things and stuff in favor of relationships and building lasting treasures elsewhere. I don't regret those choices. This week I can see that those choices have made all the difference in our lives for us. We could only do what we knew how to do, set the best example we could. For Emery and I to love each other so joyfully and with kindness to one another that our children desired to find that same sort of love and commitment when they chose a spouse. To show them we believe in prayer, and to forgive our children their mistakes with the same love that Christ shows us as we make mistakes, often for us, the same mistakes over and over, and then to face the fact that much of the time the faults our children have, is do in part, to our own faults. We fell short from time to time in how well we responded, but have come to find the value in apologizing for our shortcomings. Our life isn't a model for anyone, there is a higher model to look at, one without fault or mistakes.

I love wisteria, so have it growing in several places on our land, even up against the chicken house which gives a hint of sweetness to a place that is not always so sweet : )

Wisteria out front along the fence

Wisteria growing by the side of the house complete with a busy bee

Wisteria growing up the outside of the chicken house

and the morning sky !