Saturday Morning Ramble

I laid in bed just a little bit longer than usual this morning, looking out the window, feather pillow under my head propping me up so I could watch the birds at the feeders and admire the way the yellow sunlight mixed in with the greens of the juniper tree, it reminded me of a well thought out batik pattern. Along the fence, mustang grape vines flutter in the slightest of breeze. The only sound in the house is that of the fan in front of my dresser.

Emery is soon off to work but walks so quietly, with a tender heart, as not to disturb my moment, letting me savor the gold and green view from bed just a bit longer. I think about how gentle my life is, no rushing around, never has been, except for when the children had an Irish Step Dance competition, then it was a little hectic getting things in order for the four of them.

It often took planning to avoid that stress of rushing. When the children were all home, I would spend Saturday nights preparing for church, have 6 pairs of black shoes lined up to be polished for the next morning. Clothes all ironed, children all scrubbed, bibles lined up on the table by the door. Breakfast planned and the table set before I went to bed. Sunday mornings were a breeze, things were ready, and there was no chaos. I think my whole life is a bit like that, planning from early on for a life without chaos. Living simply, this homestead sort of life, for over 2 decades now is a bit like preparing for whatever may come. I have recently worked on my fear driven aspect of this homestead life and putting aside all the scary "what ifs" and am just enjoying the road we are on. It feels good. It feels right and I know now that this is what I so badly wanted as a lifestyle way back when I was 14 years old. To live with purpose, with the bigger picture in mind and all the while, live according to my conscience.
I smile, not smugly, but with a good feeling, when I see on the news all the folks that are now taking steps back from the rush and stress of mainstream existence and see them finding joy in having a little garden in their city back yard, enjoying family meals, learning that your children do NOT need to be in 4 activities each, finding out that being a taxi mom to 9 million different places just stresses everyone in the family, and seeing some young families in NYC have tiny chicken coops with a couple of laying hens. I love it ! It warms my heart to hear of more and more women that are hanging up clothes because I know what you see when you are outside doing that task, I know you can see the sky, the sun, hear a bird, see a new kind of insect, feel invigorated from that 2o minutes of aerobics and smell the scent of fresh air on your clothing. I know the satisfaction you feel by doing something good for the environment and for yourself and your children all at the same moment. And you get time to think, time to pray, time to just be, while you are hanging clothes or digging in the garden. You can put on a big floppy hat and feel so alive, so real.

I have laundry to do today, and gardening chores and all the other chores too. I have swept the house already, we don't vacuum, since we have no rugs. The house is still, it is holy ground, it feels sacred this morning. There is peace, no rushing, no stress, just this deep connected feeling to all that is good in life.