Finding My Way







Life is so easily defined for you, or at least it was for me, when the children were all home. My roles as wife and mother came first and how I loved every moment of it. I knew what I needed to do each day to have the family function and what the children needed to become good people. Watching with pure joy each new stage of life, but now I have so much time to explore and there is so much out there to study, examine and digest. For the first time in a long time, we have money to spend too. We are blessed I know to have a very good income, especially in this trying time in our history. And with this income and almost no expenses, its so easy to just buy what suits your fancy. Fortunately we are not much for wanting things, but even thrift store and yard sale shopping more often than not yields things you really don't need, but you buy simply because its such a good deal. My house is getting full of these "good deals". For years I have said I never want to be rich. A couple reasons for that. Money and things don't make you happy. Happiness is a state of heart found through feelings of contentment, peace, and I really believe that you have to have a spiritual connection to find peace. Most of us past the age of 30 have either seen or read stories where the little rich child sneaks out of his mansion and peeks into the window of the happy poor family down the road. All rich people are not unhappy though, just as all poor folks are not happy and living blissful lives as they pray for the next meal to be enough to satisfy them. But, there is a deep level of something beyond words, that comes from knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God provides and having little miracles appear time and again.
I was doing laundry first thing this morning and remembered that I still had some laundry to fold from two days ago. Yes, I have been extremely busy but there was a time when by choice we only had enough clothes for the week and you couldn't let things slide, you had a need. I was thinking how that made life so much easier for me and how before the computer hooked me, I got my work done in the morning when I had the most energy. This machine is a thief and a sneaky one at that. It takes my time and takes me on searches to places that have wide, easy roads full of new concepts that make all the sense in the world but are missing some basic beliefs I never want to put aside.
I would rather have less technology...I cringe as I write that, because I think perhaps I am addicted to my computer and iPhone. I don't want to give them up, but I hate that they sort of own me. Same with all the money we have. We are not crazy spenders by any means, but this aspect of being able to buy everything we need, leaves such a small space for Gods miracles to be seen. And my oh my, how the world tells us we need so much. Time to ourselves, pampering, and levels of comfort that are so beyond what we really need. A bit of sweat on our brow and most of us fuss and complain. Our children are missing out on playing for the sheer fun of it. Laughing when you miss hitting the ball, or playing hid and seek until the street lights come on. That camaraderie that has nothing to do with skill or talent, just simply having fun.
Today, walking out the back door, having the summer like breeze tossing my hair in my eyes and having the grass tickle my bare feet, I reminded myself that this is my way, this is the path I so deeply love. Its not wanting more, or buying into that mentality that you have to own this or that to look successful. I don't need to travel the world, or even travel outside my county to be better at living life. Looking back into history, many of the great historical figures hardly travelled beyond a days travel by horseback. And for me, I just picture Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith, a wonderful kind homemaker and where did you find her, at home and in her community. Sure she is fictional, but she represents that quintessential homemaker that cared for her family and found peace and joy in that. It was enough, she was fulfilled.
With the children all grown and so well able to care for themselves and their families, my work has changed, and its a bit daunting in this crazy world that dictates so much to us by way of the media, what we should look like, act like and feel, to maintain strong footing on the way you want to go.

Comments

Patty, I was thinking along this line of time to waste, as I struggled to transfer photos from a new-to-me Picasa program to the facebook. Fun in a way to connect with people, but most of it is so superficial--and there goes another chunk of time.
Maybe with children grown we have "earned" some time to make choices, but what are the best ones? Like you, raising my family was very home-oriented: a huge garden, canning, freezing, making bread, sewing clothing--and now most of those needs are being met in other ways and by other people. I deeply regret the lack of gardening opportunities here; I sew instead and the quilts I make are lovely and keep someone warm, but they are not neccessity, they are a choice--because I do have the funds for lovely fabrics, a state of the art sewing machine. Rather unsettling, isn't it?
Janette said…
Like the two of you I have wondered out loud about my use of my time lately. the computer does take lots of my time- to the point that I attempt not to get on in the evening at all.
I never gardened or made bread- but my children played in the neighborhood and went to the museums and zoos often. It was a different type of time. Thinking of what I want to do as an "elder" is a different view of the world. Still teach is one of those things.

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