Sunday, January 29, 2012
Surrender is a word that I never really thought about, at least not in a complete sense of the word. Sure when you think about war, there seems to be one side that needs to surrender, and I have on many occasions promised God to surrender to Him, but I have never thought about complete surrender and what that might look like in my life. So, yesterday, I walked through the house, wondering what it would look like if I truly surrendered all to God. It would mean I would give Him all my fears and insecurities too. It would mean I would surrender ego also. I realized as I went from room to room and took inventory on myself, that in all these years of seeking simplicity, I was really trying to find a way to surrender all, but had no real concept of what that meant. Imagine, living with no fear or insecurities because you fully accepted the watch care and the plans of the Creator ? No fear of being disliked, or of not quite measuring up to what societies expectations are of us ? So, would the woman that hates to cook and finds her family eating out or eating fast food a lot, feel the need for a big new kitchen that she doesn't really use, but has because people use that to measure our success in life ? Would you have to dye your hair, buy expensive anti aging cream if you honestly surrendered all to Him ? The quest for eternal youthfulness has roots in fear of getting old, fear of not being attractive and of course our ego. If we surrendered our fear, our ego, we could age gracefully and be content to look just as we are...no plastic surgery, no botox, no boxes of hair dye. We would not settle for society telling us we are worth less as we age and that beauty only comes with youthfulness.
Now, imagine living with that same sort of security a small child has in the home of really good parents. Knowing that they have everything under control and you just have to listen to their wisdom, knowing they have "plans to prosper you and not to harm you" and that they will always direct your paths to the best places and give you hope and fill your heart with joy. Imagine what you would feel the need to hold on to and what you could freely let go of. The need to show off would fade from existence and the sense of security would replace all those fears that drive us to behave in ways in which make us carry regrets. A life of surrender is in truth a life of simplicity.
It is a silent sort of morning, sitting next to the wood stove in my rocker, watching the birds outside my windo...