Sunday Morning Ramble

The sun broke golden through the trees to the east this morning. Cool, crisp fall air had me pulling the covers up closer around my neck, a window open next to my bed. Sleep was deep and sound through the night with the exception of coyotes howling close by, getting Harry all worked up until he too was trying to howl right from the back porch where he sleeps at night, most often curled up with a kitten or two by his side. The night sounds made me feel as if we lived far off in the wilderness and that made the dreams of my youth seem as though they had come true. Dreams of wilderness living filled my sleepy head.

With the sunrise came a long and comfortable conversation with Emery, the one person that knows me better than anyone else. Our morning talks are always so easy. We talked about plans for this and that, we talked about politics, we even discussed the case of the boy and the weather balloon. Time passed by with such a perfect pace that we hardly noticed that time existed for anything other than morning talk.

Slipping out of bed and into work clothes, thick woolie socks to warm my feet from the cold, bare floors, and pulling my shawl tight around my shoulders, I was now ready to get the fire going and get some breakfast on the stove. Musing, I thought about how perfect my life feels to me. Of course its not perfect, but it feels perfect and maybe that is all that really matters in the day to day aspect of life.

While lighting the fire in the stove I thought about getting older, I don't really like how fast time has flown by, I don't even like getting older, not for the gray hair, wrinkles or any of that, but because I have so much to do and I want lots more time to chase rainbows and see if I could fly. I need another 100 years to dream my dreams and climb that mountain.

But one thing I do like about getting older is reaping the harvest of raising our family. We did good. Yesterday when Steven and his friends were doing the roofing for us, I thought how blessed we are to have three amazing children that through their goodness and kindness, we will not have to live in fear in our elder years regarding how things will get done for us when we are no longer able. Our children will willingly help us, see to our needs, and mow our lawn and paint our house etc. Our children have hearts to help us, and I suppose in part that is because we have so willingly helped them throughout their lives. Shown to them, that they are not alone, not having to suffer when we can help them. Not letting them fall on hard times without a shoulder to lean on and a soft place to rest their heads on. And to have our help in whatever way it is needed. Not to spoil them but to show them love and mercy. I remember Emery and I felt so all alone in Oregon when Emery lost his job and Melanie nearly died.....she got sick 12 days before our insurance kicked in, and no one helped us, never aked if there was something we needed, or asked if we are making it o.k..

I suppose that old school mentality of "rough times make you strong" or something like that, was the reason for this, but it didn't make us anything, except committed to never let our own children suffer when we could help. Never let their cupboards be bare when we had money to share for food. Humanity and love mixed with compassion doesn't make people soft, it shows them mercy. And now I see my own children showing that same mercy and compassion to us in so many ways. Unselfish love is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and it forms a circle that turns round and round, serving one another.

I feel so blessed to have two daughters and a son that understand the depth of love with compassion. Life is good.