Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Having A Good Kind of Pride In Being a Homemaker

Yesterday on my way to the hospital I passed a stretch of road that has at least 10 restaurants on each side. All the parking lots were packed. At least 20 restaurants with packed parking lots at noon time. On the way home, it was supper time and again the lots were packed and you could see more cars on their way into the parking lots. I have nothing against going out to eat occasionally, but by talking to some folk and seeing the traffic going into fast food places and restaurants, I am guessing lots of folks go out to eat a lot.
I can't say much about how life is for working wives and mothers since I have never really been one. I quit work nine months after I married, the very same day I went to the Doctors to discover I was pregnant and never went back except for a couple months when Emery lost his job in Oregon and that was only part time. But I can say how I see things from a stay at home mom view of things. Its what I know and honestly how I believe that things worked out best for us. We chose to live on one income, which meant for us, having less then a lot of folks out there. But it worked for us.
My mother never worked after she had children either. So that was my example. Emery and I decided that in order to have the kind of home and children we wanted to raise, it would take me being home full time. We agreed that it didn't matter how poor we were, or what we "didn't" have compared to others out there, we wanted our children to have mom home all the time.
And believe me, we were poor. Most of the time when Melissa was a baby, we didn't have two nickles to rub together, but so what, we had food and shelter and I had opportunity to take pride in being a homemaker. I felt so good when Emery sat down after a hard days work to a meal that was carefully planned and made with pride, knowing that there is a bit of truth to the old adage that " a way to a mans heart is through his stomach " I loved watching the smile spread across his face as he took the first bite of some new recipe I had tried. I took care and pride in how our food was prepared and satisfaction in seeing Emery's reaction. The same as I did in knitting him a warm sweater one year. How excited I was to watch him unwrap his package and pull out something I made for him, knitted each and every stitch with love and how good I felt when someone complimented him on his sweater and hearing the pride in his voice as he said, "my wife made this for me. " I wonder how it is that some young women today have no pride in homemaking and would rather go out to a restaurant several nights a week than to feel the delight of making a delicious meal for their family. I think something vital is lost when a woman fails to find work at home satisfying. Pride in your work is not a bad thing, and home-keeping is a wonderful job that never has to be seen as boring or unfulfilling. To this very day I feel such pride in how my children turned out. And it was my job to see that they turned out that way. Emery certainly was a hands on father so he played a big part in raising them too, but seeing that the girls were taught how to say the alphabet, how to say their weekly Bible verses and how to eat politely and have manners at all times, those were the things I taught them. And teaching them not to be bored, how to be amused in all settings, that was my work and I loved it and took care in how they learned about life and what sort of experiences they were having.
I taught them to cook and to clean and to be independent. Taught them how to learn and how to discover the things that interested them, just as my mother taught me. I would watch my mother prepare special meals and see the care she took in seeing it had the right flavor, the right presentation, even if it was just stew. I loved watching her face light up when she had fixed a special birthday meal for someone, (we always got our favorite meals on our birthdays) and the birthday person would oooooh and ahhhhh at the marvelous meal. She was a chef at that moment and the guests proved how good she was by the way they ate and complimented her. I feel the same. I like feeling like Julia Child in the kitchen, cooking up a masterpiece, a work of art for the ones I love. Like Gibran said, "work is love made visible".
By having someone else do your homemaking chores, you are robing yourself of some very satisfying tasks. It boosts the ego to a healthy level to accomplish something good. I remember so well how I would feel when someone would compliment the girls on their dresses when I had made them. It was just as satisfying to me as if I was a corporate giant that had made a huge acquisition, but the pay off is so much greater in so many ways. My mothers pride in her work at home has travelled two generations and going on to a third one now with Mei-Ling. Melanie has that same sort of pride in her work at home with her little family. Laziness does not dictate her day. Restaurants are infrequent places and not where family celebrations take place. Heartstrings of the best kind, tie us to home. Memories are made in the place were we lay our heads at night and sooth that fevered brow. It is where laughter runs down the hall accompanied by the pitter patter of little feet. It is where the house is filled with good smells coming from the kitchen and Momma is busy creating goodies we remember all our lives and we remember the look on her face when we declare it the best ever !
Its not the running to and from that children will remember with fondness, but the work we did at home that calls them back as adults and keeps a family close.
Take pride in your work at home and surround your family with tangible evidence that every thing you do is made with love.


Julian said...

patty, thanks, i needed that today! Christina

Grandma said...

What a wonderful post Patty. I know a lot of working mothers and wife that try to do it all work 8 hours, then come home and put in another full shift at home preparing dinner, helping with homework, laundry, cleaning, shopping, running errands and spending a little time with their families. They are tired and stressed out from trying to do it all. They all think they need to work outside of the home and climb the company ladder to have success, big homes, vacations, second homes, new cars, and the latest whatever’s. We too chose to live on one income; we had less material things and less stress, but overall we have so much more.

Soup said...

Does not mean working women do not raise good children. I am a full-time career woman but still cook and do housework without any live in maid yet I produce a Doctor and an Architect. In this modern world husband and wife have the responsibility to provide a good living environment for the family.

Patty said...

Dear Soup, I so agree, working women can have wonderful families, just as stay at home moms can have disaster families. For us, it was our goal to homeschool our children and so that was the road we took, which meant I stayed home.
I just wish more women took pride in their work at home, like cooking etc, which from your blog I see you do exceptionally well : ) I enjoyed reading about your wonderful food

Teri said...


I enjoyed this post very much. I've been both an out-of-house and in-house working mom, and am simply grateful for those moments where I feel like I'm being precisely the mom the child I'm dealing with at that moment needs. You can see it in their eyes when you responded to a situation or a comment they made exactly as they needed you to - those are my most gratifying and grateful mom moments.

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