A Morning Ramble

I read this verse this morning, Psalm 33:22 "May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Hope is such a good thing, so alive, so much more than a wish. It has life when its real and not just lip service. Hope is like the law of attraction. You have to believe in it in order for it to work.

Its been a difficult week and its only Tuesday. Worry over Mei-Ling and now Emery's mother is in ICU with renal failure and respiratory failure. She was anointed yesterday by the pastors of her church. Her health has been bad for all the years we have been married, most of it due to choices. Food over health. Comfort for her came in calories which soon turns into high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and on and on. A lesson in that for many folk. It does catch up to you. My mother, much the same. Untreated high blood pressure, overweight, that took her life in her mid sixties. Strange, I started out about the word hope and this post grew rather grim in a matter of a few sentences, but really believing, having real hope, can take you from the place of stuffing your emotions with food to the place where real comfort can arise. I am over-weight and hate it. Grew up with atrocious eating habits that are taking a life time to get over. In my twenties and thirties I was nice and thin then my mother died, more babies did not arrive like we had so wanted and with all that something went amok with my eating that has never been set straight yet. I was trying to fill voids with food I guess.

I do stay fit, was told a couple years ago that my heart looked like that of a 19 year old. But I am still fat ! Where is my hope, where do I turn when things are difficult like this week is ? Mostly its to a quick fix of a candy bar or a bigger helping than I need at this age, not to where I should turn. Yesterday I made a good choice, instead of munching, I put on my running clothes and got all those good endorphins flowing. I prayed and I took the time to reaffirm some good positive thinking.
If the truth be told, I never want my own children to think about their mother the way Emery and I have had to about our mothers. Food was their comfort and it killed them.

Put your hope in the right place, find comfort in something higher than what lasts a moment on the lips. You don't have to be overweight for food to rob you, it can be that you choose foods that clog your arteries, mess with your blood sugars or mess up your colon.
This post took on a life of its own. It turned out to be about something very different than intended. I guess it turned out to be a lecture for me.