Saturday, May 11, 2013

And the Voice said, "Not So Fast"

In my life, I have had two very obvious, unexplainable to the natural world, experiences.  Once when I was lost in the woods of Vermont, after encountering a bear and falling down the side of a mountain, I prayed...."God, send me a light that I can find my way" and within a very short time, there was a light, a flashlight shining down from the top of the hill.  I climbed through the thick underbrush to it and there stood three young men, I was 18 at the time.  They helped me to the road, and told me they would walk me to my campsite, 2 miles away at least.  They were kind, cordial yet not very talkative.  It was Oct, so not a lot of people in the woods in the middle of the night.  They took me all the way to my tent.  I turned around to thank them, and they were gone. Vanished.  I know without a doubt, they were angels.  
Then, a couple years ago, I was in the car, turning onto the main road from my house and at the corner, I stopped about 2 car lengths from the corner.  No idea why, but it was like my car would not go all the way to the corner.   I was sorta stuck there.  In a few seconds, a woman comes flying right at me from the cross street, at least 65 miles an hour, no slowing down, plows right through where the stop sign is, where I should have been and goes across the grass.  Big car, would have killed me on impact.  It wasn't like I saw her coming, since I was stopped back far enough to not see the traffic.  I know God had his hand in that.  And now today, in the garden, working at pulling weeds, just enjoying the beautiful blue sky, the birds singing, the gentle wind blowing through the leaves, as if they were some fragile instrument. My hand reaching into the moist brown soil to pull up the roots of some misplaced plants, I felt like someone was walking up behind me, I turned, no one was there, but I heard as plain as can be, a voice..it said, "Not so fast, your job is not finished yet"  "Continue to write".  Either I am nuts, or that voice was instructions from above.  I kinda wanted to ignore it, after all I had made up my mind to shut down my blog.  I had hurt someone that I care about deeply.  I have no desire to appear fickle, so I went on with my task until all those alerts kept announcing that I had email on my phone.  The phone is always with me, in my pocket or next to me. One after another, too many to count, emails from readers.  Private emails, but all the same theme.  "Please reconsider".  One was from a Pastor that said he found inspiration from my blog, when  as he wrote, "his well had gone dry" and doubted what he even believed.  Another touching email from a young mother that was contemplating killing herself when he children were at school but for some reason she went to the computer and read my blog and it touched her heart, about her own family, how she wanted to see them grow up and to see her grandchildren, and she decided to live.  So, here I sit, very humbled and at the same time bewildered.  What does God want of me ?  How do I continue ?  One word at a time...hopefully, not stepping on anyones toes too bad. So I guess the best laid plans, when they are our own, often change.  Thank you to the many of you that emailed and left comments in such a very short period of time. I am shocked to be honest, since I just write about what dances around in my brain, or happens on our little piece of this earth.   And, to the owner of that voice in the garden.  I fall to me knees. 

9 comments:

Carole said...

Praise the Lord, yes, please continue. I knew the good influence you had far overcomes the hurt of one (who will surely forgive ?). I'm happy you'll keep on writing.

aimee said...

I was just writing to ask you to please reconsider your decision also when I saw that you had made a new post:)
Patty, I honestly disagree with you at times on certain matters (being very passionate in my beliefs too). And yet, more often than not I find blessings here--as I accompany you into your cottage garden, as I sit down to tea on your covered porch, as I watch a healthy Mei-Ling playing outside and as I search for handmade tomtens and gnomes with you in a beautiful Texas landscape. You've made a difference in my life and I thank you for that.
We all make mistakes...it's the very painful downside of being human. We hurt others--sometimes inadvertently without any malice meant (I certainly have and couldn't make amends because of the way it happened). God is a God of forgiveness; I have to believe that...I DO believe that. Sometimes these mistakes -- often these mistakes lead us to strive even harder to be blessings in this hurting world. This was the case with me--although I am still SO very imperfect, still passionate and still opinionated.
Please have a blessed Mother's Day tomorrow and may God bless you.
Aimee

Roses around the door... said...

Oh patty thank you for being brave enough to listen to the voice, i am truly happy you have decided to stay and write and share with us all the beauty in your life.
I do not always comment but i check your blog everyday and have lost count of the times your words have been a comfort to me. Wishing you a very happy mother's day, God bless x

Izzysquilts said...

I was going to try to put this as diplomatic as possible but perhaps this is a place where you ask for prayers and they are answered.

JoAnn Edwards said...

I am a senior citizen from tennessee who faithfully reads and enjoys your blog. Please continue to write. I always love it when you begin to tell us about your activities in the spring, garden etc. Then I know that our spring is only 3 weeks away. Everything here begins to bloom and blossom 3 weeks later from your area.

debi said...

I don't even know how many years I have been coming here. Watching your sweet grandblessings grow. Joining others praying for your sweet girl as she endured yet another surgery.I think we all feel a bit like family here. On a few very bad days in my life,God sent me here and it was here that I found a bit of piece. We are very blessed in deed that you have decided to stay a bit longer. And a Happy Mother's Day to you my friend.

Rosemary said...

Praise God,! I would have missed coming here and reading such heartfelt words. Your blog is a place that I come to and find peace, inspiration and beauty.

Peacemom said...

Patty, forgiveness from your loved one would help you both, I know. Having been a reader for a while now, I can honestly say I so enjoy your lovely photography (a bit of a buff myself) and the peace I find in your world. My world is not always so and I find your spiritual connection to be healing for me. I share it, but don't find so many in my world that do. Please continue on with your ways and your blog. Blessings, ~Vonnie, NH

Morning's Minion said...

Yesterdy, puttering along the edge of one of my flower strips, camera in hand, I thought of you again--how I would miss your blog. I recalled the days of anxiety when Mei-Ling faced a medical crisis--and I was almost fearful to 'open' your post. I remembered sending quilt blocks for a comforting 'get well'quilt; referring to your recipe for Amish Apple Pancake--things you've posted which have inspired a 'jumping off' point for me.
Truthfully, there are times when I read a post and [in the manner of Ronald Reagan] I think, "Oh, there she goes again!"--but then, it takes a few differences in personality and belief, as well as the shared joys, to make a good friendship.
I'm glad you heard and heeded the still small voice.