The New Year has started off with several family members sick. Despite having a flu shot, another strain seems to have captured a few. One daughter sick, one son in law sick, Yen with bronchitis, and conjunctivitis. Emery dealing with bronchitis too and Mei having a trip to the ER with a rather serious problem that was dealt with quickly and all is well. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and I am fighting it with all the natural remedies I know of. Zinc, Vit C, Swedish Bitters, Elderberry, Throat Coat and a few more things. I have intentions of beating this before it grabs hold of me.
With the New Year, I naturally think about the things I want to change in my life for this year and face the things about myself that need changing. The book shelf beside me has the books I want to read, reread etc. A couple of Jon Kabat Zinn books that always yield precious gems no matter how many times I digest the pages. There are a few books by Thich Nhat Hanh on that shelf too. I am continually drawn to teachings of simplicity and compassion and mindfulness. As the battle with my weight continues, I delve deeper into mindful eating and seek the answers to why I fear change so much and weight loss is a major change in life, yes, I know its a good change but there are some of us in life, that find any change, with all the unknown territory it brings, a bit frightening. I suspect there is a deep seeded connection with weight loss for me with loss. When I lost all my weight after having my babies, my mother passed away, and I think I connect the two in some distorted way. After all our beliefs are as they say, filters on reality, distorting what is real with what we add to the equation. Good or bad. One thing I know for certain, acknowledging our fears and understanding they serve very little purpose is step one in pushing them off the cliff and living mindfully in the moment, which is all that really exists for us.
Today I hung the prayer flags I got for a Christmas gift and I laid in the cold grass just looking up at them and feeling that my prayers were actually dancing in the wind of freedom. Change, good change on the way.