Keeping Love Alive

At my age, you see lots of people you know in relationships that seem to have grown cold. Evenings spent in separate chairs instead of curled up together on the sofa sharing a movie or just chatting. There are often cold empty spaces in between two people who once didn't know where one began and the other left off. Love needs to be fostered, to be nurtured, cared for.

When is the last time you left a love note on the pillow, or in a pocket ? Maybe, even taped to the steering wheel of the car to be found first thing in the morning. If love has grown cold, pretend it hasn't. Make a list of all the reasons why you married this person in the first place and then look for those same things, they might be just hidden under the mantle of responsibility or under a layer of dust from not being moved.

There is not a single night that Emery and I don't sit cozy together on the sofa, holding hands, me leaning into his shoulder, giggling at silly things, or discussing what we are watching on television or simply just talking about the day and the direction of our lives in this new time for us.

There are always notes for one another to be found and sweet deeds done with the anticipation of the joy it will bring to the other. There is kindness and shared memories that make us smile and remind us of the how and why we still hold hands and steal kisses from one another. There is patience and appreciation for one another and tenderness that can be felt in a look across a crowded room. Don't ignore one another and put all the emphasis on yourself. Cherish your love. Cherish the one you love.

30 years has only made this love of ours better, more alive, deeper, more compassionate, and so safe to be just who we are with one another. There are still butterflies that live in our stomachs that flutter when we see each other walking towards one another. Reach for a hand to hold, sit close together, giggle at silly things and share your hearts together. Remember those things that made the stars dance in your eyes in the beginning and what butterflies in your tummy feel like when you saw your loved one walk towards you in the newness of love. Keep dating, even if you have to bring the children along. We did and it has paid off in so many ways. Our children know what true love looks like. We set an example.

Its worth it.

Emery and I

Melissa and James

Melanie and Casi

and three of my favorite pictures from a small book of poems by Dick Summer that taught me early on what kind of love I wanted in my life.