Change

We live in a society that seems uncomfortable with change, not in the progression of things around us, as in technology, but with ourselves. In our appearances, in our thinking and about our times in life.

I have been thinking about the changes in my family. Emery and I will go from being just parents to being parents and grandparents. Melanie, Casi, Steven and Priscilla are changing from being newlywed couples into parents. A new phase of life. Melissa will be heading back to school so she is changing from being a working professional into being a student. Changes. All good ones, positive and full of excitement. Life is ever changing and that's a good thing. Only, on so many levels we are uncomfortable with the changes that take place in ourselves. Think about this paragraph from the book, "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalia Lama and Howard Cutler M.D.

"The acceptance of change can be an important factor in reducing a large measure of our self-created suffering. So often, for instance, we cause our own suffering by refusing to relinquish the past. If we define our self-image in terms of what we used to look like or in terms of what we used to be able to do and can't do now, its a pretty safe bet that we won't grow happier as we grow older. Sometimes the more we try to hold on, the more grotesque and distorted life becomes."

Think about that a bit, its not just about how we look or how able we are to jump and run as we age, but its also about accepting the roles we enter in life and about how much we can change our minds about things as we learn more, understand more, attain more empirical knowledge.

Imagine for a moment the given changes in the first paragraph, imagine Emery and I refusing to accept becoming grandparents. (sadly most of us have known a few of these type in life) I have the new babies call me Patty instead of Grammy or whatever. I never share with anyone I meet that I have grandchildren. I seek after the fountain of youth in every new jar of promise to do this or that skin care product. It would seem fruitless, ridiculous and certainly a topic of much gossip within my circle of friends and family. Now imagine that Melanie, Casi, Steven and Priscilla refuse to accept this new phase of life. Perhaps they want to party all the time, live like college days, free of responsibility. That too is unacceptable, horrible to even imagine, but we know that there are young parents out there that live life like that, unwilling to accept growing up and becoming responsible. Some even carry it over to their Grannie days. Old ladies pretending they are young still. Wearing clothes not quiet suited to their age. Make up of the 70's plastered on their faces. We laugh at them. Make jokes about them, but really its sad.

Just like we all want our children to grow up and act their age, not stay tied to momma's apron strings and not make a life for themselves.

So here we are, in a culture that worships the look of youth and we find ourselves caught up in this madness to maintain something that is just not going to work. Every once in a while I see a woman who is in her 60's or so, hair beautiful healthy steel gray, styled simply, perhaps just to her shoulders, pulled back in a pony tail, sophisticated look to it. Her clothing, matching who she is, comfortable in where she is in life. Perhaps a blazer, nicely pressed slacks, or a summer dress maybe. Shoes comfortable yet pretty. This woman turns heads still, but for all the right reasons. She has class, she has found the joy in being where she is in life.

We see a few women in this area with long long hair, just left down. I think long hair is wonderful and understand well the religious reason for not cutting hair. At age 20, this long flowing hair is beautiful, at 30, it starts to need some additional styling but when you reach 50 and 60, its time to put it up. Give that hair some style and flare appropriate to your age. Long hair, left down at that point in life, starts to take on the look of old "Hippie". And you get lots of attention for it, but not the kind you want.

Holding on to the past serves no one. Same as holding on to old "stuff", (not talking heirlooms here), just stuff....things that really are just bogging us down. The "oh remember this" stuff that has no real emotional connection.

Life is full of change, and change can be such a blessing. Welcome it, make the most of it, keep it in perspective, and find the best of it and use it wisely.

I am looking forward to the changes in my life....that doesn't mean I plan to sit in the rocker and just grow old. I plan to live, enjoy, embrace and look for the best in each new phase of this ever changing life. Life is ever changing as it should be. Don't get stuck in trying to stay in the place you should be growing beyond. With life's changes, comes growth, healthy changes, wisdom and opportunity to redefine yourself.