A Change in the Air

Before the sun rose, I woke to cold air blowing on my face. With the storms last night came a strong cold front. Yesterday I was sweating in the humid heat while I mowed, today...another story altogether as you can see by the photo. A bit of a fire is needed to take the chill out of the air and heat a kettle full of water for tea this morning, and the stoves heat will be used a bit later to fry some potatoes for lunch.

This morning as I was closing a window, the air reminded me of when you are on some mountain top and you breath in so deeply, sucking in the clean, cool mountain air. The wind itself seemed to be breathing deeply and steady. It is a moment in time, etched in my memory for its simplistic beauty. We can get so busy in life, that moments such as this, escape us.

Last night as I lay in bed, in the seconds before sleep over took me, that no matter what I read, hear about, get excited about etc, there are constant truths that run so deep that nothing seems to change them. I may feel a greater light shed on some of these deep beliefs, codes of personal conduct, and ethics but there is a cornerstone that remains strong.

After reading "The Secret", I would question in my own mind, all their talk of pursuing "financial freedom" and began to wonder what I personally see as financial freedom. It has never been a goal of mine to be rich, as I have always seen that as a stumbling block to being able to pursue a simple life, it may not be that way for others, but it is for me. We have what we need and that is enough.

Emery and I sat one night and made a list of the things we "want" and it was difficult to find "things" we wanted. To be honest, if someone handed me $10,000, 000 I would still want to stay in this house. So wouldn't Emery. And the children have told us, we can never move, this is their home. The very place they sat with their toys spread all over the floor. The very place so many hours of school was held at our kitchen table. The place where their hard shoes clicked on our wooden floors during hours and hours of Irish Step Dance practice. The place where hearts were consoled, where tears were shed from some childhood hurt and wiped with momma's hankie or heads patted by Dads loving hand.

You see, when it comes down to it, you do get what you want, when you want it bad enough. I have just what I want. A simple life. I was able to always be home with my children, never had to work a day in my life after I became pregnant with Melissa, just what I wanted to do. I got to teach our children at home, the things we felt were important and necessary for their intellectual and spiritual growth. We got to have animals, chores, pony to ride, eggs to gather. Gardens to tend. I never walk through the garden gate that I don't hear in my minds ear, the children all singing as they were weeding the garden together. It was heavenly music.
When I was 14, I told everyone I wanted to live on a farm and raise my own food. I wanted to cook on a wood stove, have children, a husband with a beard, who was gentle and kind.

Here I sit with all that and more.

"The Secret" leaves something out, it leaves out that not everyone wants a parcel of what the world considers success. I don't want a big house, fancy car, fame and fortune. I want a life that keeps me walking the land each day and discovering the beauty in the simple. That shows me life through the lessons in nature. That keeps me connected to God in a personal way.
I do believe more now then ever before that we have forgotten that we can ASK, BELIEVE and RECEIVE. Its just, not all of us want "stuff", things that will rust and decay, that will mean nothing in the end of our life.

I can smell wood-smoke and that is by far more beautiful to me than the most expensive perfume. It floods me with so many good feelings and so many memories.

I can look back on my life and count it all good, blessing after blessing. My greatest accomplishment is having a home where my children desire to visit, to feel good when they walk through the door, and to have them raised to adulthood with hearts for others, with love and a deep sense for what is right and good. All this with love, deep and abiding for one man, and only one marriage, that is an accomplishment in today's world. I have to think, God is responsible for answering my prayers so long ago, when I clearly stated what I wanted, before I even really understood what I was asking for.

This mornings fire...

Music in the background.... John Michael Talbot, "Table of Plenty"

( a little note about John Michael Talbot's music, I have listened to his music for 20 years or so, I still have all the first cassettes I purchased in California. The tapes are a bit worn now but I still listen to them. Give his music a listen, its so beautiful, quiet and folk like music. And although we share different religious doctrines, his music still blesses me, after all we worship the same God )

http://johnmichaeltalbot.blogspot.com/