Jealousy and Covetousness

The dictionary tells us that covetous means...
adj.
1. Excessively and culpably desirous of the possessions of another. Synonym jealous.
2. Marked by extreme desire to acquire or possess:

and Jealous

adj.
1. Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
2. a. Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others.
b. Inclined to suspect rivalry.
3. Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness.

Many times when we think about being jealous, we visualize some big green monster lurking in the darkness making us want more than we have or at least different than what we have. There is something about jealousy and covetousness that breeds a discontentment like no other.

Most of the time when we hear about jealousy these days it has to do with some personal relationship sort of thing. But, what when we feel jealous about someone elses house, car, family life, figure, hair color, looks, lifestyle ? What about when we sit in our home, watching some home improvement type show and suddenly look around and think, wow, I wish I had that ? The problem is those thoughts usually don't end there. Resentment might start to grow for our husbands for not providing more, or perhaps we start to dislike what we have and slam a few things down on the table with a less than sweet attitude. Some might start to think badly about their boss for not paying them more so they could have bigger and better like they see someone else having. Perhaps we even start looking for negatives in the person who has the life we wish we did. We might even start thinking things like "well, I hope she fails because she has such an attitude." Who is the one with the attitude ????

It can be jealousy that makes us laugh when beautiful people slip and fall, spill things on their amazing clothes, thinking, "ha ha serves them right". It is covetousness that makes us want what others have, even if that is more time, more love, more children, better looks, a better body, or that country home or that mansion on a hill.

I suspect that one of the main reasons the credit card debt in the United States is so huge might come from folks wanting what others have, feeling entitled to have it because "so and so has it".

According to the Federal Reserve, the total outstanding credit card debt carried by Americans reached a record $951 billion in 2008 . That is horrific, especially since about a third of those card holders are in the high risk, low credit score category.

Coveting things is not a good thing, and being jealous of what others have certainly never makes us feel good, but what is worse maybe is how we turn those thoughts into greater unkind thoughts about the person that has what we want. We might become snippy with them, look for things to pick on. Take issue with every little thing they say. I once knew a woman that had very little time to herself due to unfortunate circumstances of a saintly husband with poor health that took every bit of her time. She grew so bitter, not from the actual care of her husband, but from being so jealous of anyone else whose life was not like her own. She spent so much thought on being jealous because someone else had more freedom than she did, that she became known for that bitterness, for how she spoke about and acted towards anyone that had the freedom she so coveted. She even hoped they had something bad happen to them, smiled when someone got sick and needed care. She became a women of resentment.

There are very wise words found in the book of James in the Bible.

James 4: 1 "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

We probably all need to be more aware of our thoughts, our snippy remarks. And although we may not openly wish for something not so pleasant to happen to someone that has what we are jealous of, what we might covet, we shouldn't even take the tiniest bit of pleasure when something unfortunate does happen to them, but feel compassion for them.

For me, I need to always guard my thoughts and check where they are coming from and seek only to feel compassion and a deep contentment for the blessings and for the trials in life.