Where Have I Been ?
I am unsure of how it happens, but each and every day of late, my intentions have been to write a bit on here, but something always seems to come up. Nothing major as measured by the modern worlds standards, but for me, they are moments to be savored, cherished. Last week, both my daughters were here visiting and watching them with their children gave me such a sense of satisfaction that words would be so inadequate to describe how it made me feel to hear them talk about raising children, and what works and what doesn't. Hearing their conversations reminded me of how I used to feel, reading issues of Mothering Magazine way back in the 1980's, comforting. The talk of breast feeding, of cloth diapers, of soothing techniques and about the profound feeling of love that fills them when they are holding their little ones. It suddenly felt to me as if my heart would burst, from being so overflowing with love, of feeling like I have seen life come full circle. I watched my grandchildren, the older ones so tender to their new baby cousin. Mei-Ling singing to him, asking with such concern, about what his needs might be when he cried. Her feeling of comfort in asking her Auntie about breast feeding, genuinely wanting to know about this miracle way of feeding a baby. And Melissa, teaching Mei-Ling about how the body works, and doing it with a sort of holy reverence for the beauty of it. Yen, sharing with us, all the big boy things he wants to teach Axel. How to play nice, how to share, how to build things. Watching my girls, love each others children with the very same love they feel for their own. Tenderhearted. I sat and watched for a bit as this moment in time came, wanting to engrave it in my memory for all the beauty and depth it contained. It was a golden reward for me.
Along with such moments as above, there have been hours of garden work, hours of prayer as I pulled weeds and harvested vegetable. There have been flowers to tend to and roses to pick. There have been clothes to sew and food to prepare. A road trip to plan...Durango Colorado is our destination. Its exciting to plan this trip, its like a honeymoon, the one we never took.
There have been hikes taken and long, lazy afternoons spent on the porch, bird watching or knitting. Life is good, really good. So full of blessings. My heart filled with gratitude for all the things in my life, yes, even the more difficult things as they are the refiners fire, the polishing stone. So, where have I been, here, all this time, living in the moment, taking life in, with big deep breaths. Loving every minute.