Building Christian Character

Recent world events have many folks thinking that perhaps we are seeing the signs spoken about in Matthew 24. I wonder that myself and in my wondering, it causes a bit of self searching. Where am I in my walk with God and how dedicated to living a godly life am I ? Am I willing to surrender all ? Like most, I have cherished sins. Things like being a bit rebellious. Wanting it my way and working hard at convincing myself that this or that requirement of God is now a bit outdated.

Ego still has a tight grip of me from time to time and there are even thin threads of bitterness that spring up when I think someone is not being as kind as they should be, which is so ironic. Recently someone told me that they helped out some strangers with a large donation, when they turned a blind eye to their own struggling family members. I was mad at them for that. It seemed so unjust. Its not my business to judge them or be ticked off about. But you see what I am meaning, we get mad at things that put us just in the very same spot as those that offended us !

There is much work to be done in my heart and I suspect since I am human, this work will last until my dying breath. God saves us but we still have to work on being better people.

I was reading through some old posts and came to this one written in 2007. I have made progress since then but more heart searching to be done. When we think we have arrived, we are probably the furthest from where we need to be ! This is what I wrote.....

When my children were young, we used this book by Blair Adams called Building Christian Character. It is extremely helpful in raising Christian Children simply because it has a list of problems that arise when raising children, such as talking back, being lazy, that sort of thing, then it tells what is behind that behavior. It might stem from a rebellious heart, or perhaps not showing honor. It's such a useful book because it gets to the root of the problem, not just dealing with the symptoms of what is much deeper. There was a chart for each child that went along with this, where they received stars for having their heart in the right place. The one thing this book did was uncovering any fake-ness. As much as I enjoyed the benefits of using this book when we were teaching the children from it, often times I found myself reading a section and feeling incredibly convicted on my own part. You couldn't run from the truth of discovering your own sin. I often wondered if my children saw in me what I was trying to cover up in myself or if when I read a chapter they saw my own rebellion. No one ever said anything, they always showed Emery and I the honor due parents, or at least until they were teens and trying to grow up, that is when there were a few slip up in the honor part but it was more of being caught in a place of transition between child and adult and the lines are often blurred there for a bit. We have long since sold this book, and of course the charts have been retired for over a decade, but this week I thought I should get the book again and read it for my own benefit. Christian Character is almost always in need of being checked and we are in need of being held accountable. See things in the true light. It is no secret to anyone that knows me, or anyone that reads this blog, since I mention it often, that I struggle with rebellion. I was raised to be so independent, so free thinking, with a "don't tread on me" sort of mentality, of which for me the fruit is rebellion to conformity, rebellion in being told how to do things etc. The reality of a meek and quiet spirit is just about as foreign to me as anything could be. That's not how I want it to be. Confessing a sin to God is not hard for me but confessing a fault or sin to another human is beyond difficult. Its horrendously hard. Its easier for me to find some loophole and justify my attitude with a long discourse on the semantics of whatever can be worked in my favor. I get too outspoken, too big mouthed at times. To zealous for pointing out the injustices in the world. My goal is to work on that, be more of a meek and quiet person....no doubt family members are laughing here, wondering how in the world I think I can change, but you know, when you really want something and you seek after it in the right way, you can change with the help of God. I believe that. So here I say, humbly, I am sorry for my rebellion.